Being perpetually single is a thing that tugs and twists on the heart relentlessly. There are some who will do everything they can to avoid singleness, and there are those who harp on about the beauty and strength that comes with it.
Then there are those who have no choice in the matter of being single and struggle to be okay with their situation. Perhaps the situation is more complex than is often presumed by either extreme viewpoint.
Seeing your friends constantly happy with their significant others can be discouraging. However, when things are less than ideal between them, it can be a reminder that being single means there is no one you have to give your energy to. Even still, there are some things you can’t help but want. Even with all of the fights, all of the drama, in between all of that, there is a beautiful thing to be witnessed.
You don’t have that beautiful thing, and you wonder why it is. You wonder about how other people perceive you, you wonder about how much others value you, you wonder what makes you so different that you can’t find what others have.
Frustration is not an uncommon feeling for you. Patience is a virtue but sometimes it wears thin.
And then come the tears, the anger, the insecurities. They trickle in and hitch in your chest.
When those feelings wear off, exhaustion washes over you and reality is quiet again, quieter than you would like.
And then begins the necessity to look forward, the resilience your heart requires to keep going despite the lows of tiring discouragement.
This is an aspect where you know your heart is stronger than some peoples’. Because drowning in misery is not an option. Loving yourself begins to become a must, as is confidence.
But confidence isn’t always the loud, brash concept that seems to hold popular sway these days. It can be quiet and still in need of cultivation. It can mean love for only certain parts of yourself, and a slow process to accept the rest of you.
Singleness can teach you how to appreciate yourself even if no one does in the way you’d like. It can teach you graciousness and help your heart to turn away an entitled attitude to someone else’s affections.
Embrace the entirety of what you feel in this time of your life. It is not wholly good, nor is it wholly bad. Take your perpetual singleness for what it is and grow in it.