He’s a pathetic, low life, a narcissistic loser who doesn’t know a good thing when he sees it. I tried so hard not to fall for him but I did and I hate that I fell for his bullshit. I should have known from the beginning that this is how it’s bound to end when you date a narcissist.
To be fair this is partially my fault. I had been warned, I knew what he was like. I knew that he was a self-center human being, but naïve me thought I could change him. Boy, was I wrong.
The lies, where to begin with the lies? Was any of it true? I’m starting to question it. He used to get mad at me for overthinking everything, but I had a right to. He was the reason I over thought everything.
I never trusted him because he was sneaky. As a typical narcissist, he said what he wanted to hear and used that to his advantage. He called me sweetheart or hun or babe (all of which I f*ucking hated by the way), not out of terms of endearment but because I wasn’t the only girl he was talking to and he was afraid he’d mess up and say the wrong name.
I shouldn’t have been so stupid. I shouldn’t have taken him back the first time and especially not the second because he wasn’t going to change, but I was too blind to see that. The truth is guys like him don’t change. He’s always going to be the same pathetic guy and it’s not my job to fix him. But I felt like it was. I took on this huge responsibility that overwhelmed me.
The worst part about all this is that I am mad at myself for letting a narcissist have this effect on me. I’m mad that I think about everything that we have been through and yet didn’t realize all the red flags as they were happening.
I am mad at myself that I check my phone every few minutes secretly hoping that he will text me because a part of me wants him to feel the same pain that I am going through. But he is not, he’s moved on to his next girl.
I know this might be hard for him to believe but contrary to the tears I shed, he didn’t break me. I will move on and be just fine because I know there is someone out there for me that is 100 times better of a man than he is or will ever be.
He wasn’t ‘the one’, not even close and deep down I knew that all along. Truthfully, I think I just liked his attention, not him. I regret opening up to him. However, he’s taught me to raise my standards, so for that I thank him.
To say that I am too good for him is an understatement. He doesn’t deserve someone like me. I have a heart of gold with nothing but pure intentions and he took advantage of that.
He loved having that power over me. The power to crush me and feel no guilt. Well, joke’s on him. I’ve survived this toxic relationship.
Now he’s just part of my past. He’s a lesson that I had to learn the hard way and have made me stronger because of it.
I’ve been told ‘karma is a bitch’, that this will all come back to bite him in the ass one day. I hope it does and I hope it stings.
Best of luck, not to him, but to the girl who falls for his lies next. Take care of yourself.