If you know me, you know I love to talk.
I love to be social, meet new people, and connect with others on a deeper level.
I crave connection more than I crave anything else in this world.
Sometimes I wonder if it’s because for so many years, my eating disorder was the only connection I had…it was ED and I against the world.
Then there are other times where I wonder if it’s just the opposite…my eating disorder was all I had, deeper connections and meaningful conversations were just not on my agenda.
But one way or another, when I create these deeper connections with people, I like to know what makes them uniquely them.
For a long time, this is something I questioned about myself.
What makes me uniquely me?
In the past I would’ve said something along the lines of, “ Hi, I’m Sam. I have a passion for both health and fitness and love to learn about nutrition.”
It made sense to me, it was obvious.
I was deemed “the gym girl” by my peers and I was GD damn proud of it at the time…
However, when I began my road to recovery, that was one of the hardest things to let go of…
It was my identity, I was the “gym girl,” and I didn’t know who I was if I couldn’t be her.
I struggled with this for longer than I’d like to admit, as many often do.
However, today I share my story because it is a part of who I am, it is a part of my identity and a part of what makes me, me.
No, I am not my eating disorder, but my eating disorder has impacted my life and made me into the person I am today.
It is a part of my personal narrative and it shows the most honest, authentic version of myself.
It has given me courage and passion that I never knew existed.
And, It has shown me the strength and bravery that I never knew I had.
I share my story because I am no longer ashamed of my past, but thankful that is has helped to shape my present.
I share my story because talking about my battle with anorexia helps not only myself, but anyone else out there who feels alone.
I share my story to break the stigma, to give others hope, and to be the most authentic version of myself.
I share my story because I believe It’s what I was born to do…I’m no longer ashamed, I’m proud of who I’ve become.
