t’s a tale as old as time. It’s somewhere between 10PM and 4AM and you’ve had all the dancing, shots, and whatever else your weekend recreation consists of that your heart, head, and stomach can take for one night.
You’re walking or taking an Uber home with your friends and that’s when it happens. The panic. Holy shit, I’m about to go home….alone. I can’t let this happen, you think. We can’t let this happen, your friends agree.
And that’s when that magical little device we love so much comes into play.
No, ladies, not that one. I’m talking about your phone.
You frantically open Bumble, Tinder, or whatever your hookup site of choice is, and start swiping away, knowing full well you’ll probably just go home, eat pizza, and fall asleep before one of these guys responds to you.
Unfortunately, your brain has had its limit of making good decisions for the night, so this is where it gets fun.
You tell your friends to do it for you.
And Tinder Roulette is born.
- You are not allowed to see the profile pictures of the profile being read: Only the friend reading the profile gets to see the picture in the beginning. Then all your friends except you see the picture before making a final vote.
*you take a nervous sip here*
- Each friend gets a turn reading a profile (while pretending to do their best interpretation of the guy on the other end of the profile): It really starts to get terrifying here. The guy uses poor grammar? Drink two. Lives with his mom? Take a shot. Tries to quote Christian Gray? Take a drink while pretending you don’t like that.
2. You can make all the comments you want throughout this process, but you don’t get any say in swaying your friend’s votes: Every time your one hipster friend says he’s creative? Sip, sip, sip. When your sweetest girl friend thinks everyone deserves a chance? Drink again. Every time your best guy friend makes a d*ck joke during this process? Take a shot. Or two.
3. After the profile has been read and each friend has seen the pictures, the friends (not you) take a vote.
Chug until they make a choice.
5. If the squad votes yes, they swipe right, and if not, they swipe left.
Drink once if they swiped the way you would have and twice if they didn’t.
6. The game isn’t over until your DM’s are full and you’ve found someone to end the night with.
Oh, I forgot to mention, you’ll probably be the only one getting drunk during this game.
If you actually stay awake long enough to get lucky that night, wake up and drink a Mimosa.
Are you brave enough?