Dear shy beauty in the corner, quiet and observant, thoughtful and reserved,
I know you didn’t choose this life.
Blessed with the inheritance of your parents’ good genes, your golden skin and your lush head of hair, the freckles that span like constellations across your cheeks, they make you stand out from the crowd in the most wonderful way.
Maybe you weren’t born a natural beauty. Maybe you went through an awkward phase, like the best of us do. Or maybe you’ve always had that sparkle in your smile, that dimple in your chin, that graceful curve along your jaw. How ever you came about your looks, it doesn’t matter, because you didn’t choose them, they chose you.
You didn’t choose this life. And you aren’t complaining. Far from it. You know how lucky you are. You just wish more people understood you.
Your good looks and your warm smile always give everyone the wrong idea. They see you and they assume you to be someone you’re not. Someone you’ll never be.
Because good looks have long been equated with entertainers. Actors and actresses, singers and celebrities. Good looks are supposed to accompany someone who knows exactly what to say and when to say it, someone who can please a crowd with their smile and is happy to do so on command.
But that’s not you. Far from celebrity, you dislike being the center of attention even in the smallest of rooms. You shy away from the spotlight. It causes you anxiety to be around too many people. You’ve never aspired to be the entertainer. You’re happy to be just a face in the crowd.
And just as compliments from strangers make you writhe in discomfort, your discomfort comes off as offensive to those who assume you to be someone you’re not.
You are labelled a bitch, because you keep to yourself. A prude, because you don’t show off. Antisocial, because you avoid making social plans. Ungrateful, because you seemingly don’t appreciate any compliments. But you are none of these things. Not even close.
You’re deep and pensive. Reserved and calculated. You can actually be quite friendly, but you have to warm up to people first. Your weekend plans include a solo walk in the park, or reading a book. You only go to parties if you must, and afterwards you need to decompress alone.
And you like your life. But you feel tormented by the expectation to be someone you’re not. The beautiful ‘it’ girl, the life of the party.
The guilt you feel, the imposter syndrome that kicks in every time you step out of your comfort zone, you owe it to no one.
You don’t have to be anyone that you’re not. Ever. And you don’t ever have to apologize for the way you are. Not for your stunning good looks nor your introverted ways. You can be both beautiful and shy, and not have to feel ashamed.
So stop feeling like you’re living a lie. Like you owe someone something for your beauty or like you have to apologize for spending time alone.
You’re not living a lie, you’re living your life. And although you didn’t choose it, it’s actually pretty great.