I have so many mixed emotions and I don’t know if I have the right to feel heartbroken. I know that I’m angry, upset, and hurt….but heartbroken?
No matter how much time we spent apart not talking, you’re still my father. We don’t have the ideal relationship and we never will. We’re never going to get the time to repair our relationship.
What happened to us? Why did you do this to yourself? –questions that I’ll never get answers to.
We’ve gone months, years without speaking and I never let you know just how much it hurt me. I knew you were alive and well, but you were busy being a family elsewhere; without me… Your child.
I’m your daughter, how could you not see just how much I needed you? How could you not want to be a part of my life? You blamed everyone else for you not being around, but you never really tried to make sure you were there.
It feels like there’s a hole in my heart where my father is supposed to be, and it will forever be empty. We are never going to get a chance to be father and daughter.
You were supposed to show me how a real man is supposed to treat a woman, but all you showed me is how easy it is to abandon someone when they need you and not feel bad about it…. which, by the way, is something I am apparently fantastic at doing now, so thank you for that.
I don’t hate you. I could never hate you. No matter how many times you’ve lied to me, hurt me, left me feeling like I’m not worth anything.
I always forgave you and hoped that the next time you’d change. You’d want to be in my life. You’d finally want to be a father to me, but that’s something that’s never going to happen.
I truly hope that you find peace.