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To My Angel in Heaven, The Holidays Won't Be the Same Without You

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“The sadness never goes away, the silent tears still flow. You’re thought of and so sadly missed more than you’ll ever know. But now you’re with the Angels safe and sound in Heaven above, we hold on to the memories and treasure them with love. Yet special times like Christmas often make us wonder why God took you from this world, it was too soon to say goodbye. But memories are precious and will last a lifetime through, we know that God has chosen you to be his Angel too.”

What’s it like in Heaven? 

That’s a question that I ask myself most days since you left this life to go start a new journey. 

I wonder if it’s beautiful and always sunny; if the grass is always green, the oceans and skies always blue. If it’s everything you always told me it was like.

I wonder what your birthday is like up there; do you celebrate it? do they sing to you? Is there cake and ice cream? Balloons? Anything? 

I wonder what the holidays are like, especially Christmas because it was your favorite. It was our favorite. It was something we shared together.

Does it snow in heaven? I sure hope so. 

You and I both loved the snow, watching it fall in the early hours of the morning when the rest of the world was deep in sleep.

Holidays are no longer holidays without you here and I don’t think they ever will be again.

I try for you. I try my best to act like everything is okay and that a piece of my world isn’t missing, but it’s hard. 

You were a part of my life for so many years and in the blink of an eye, you were gone. In the blink of an eye, everything I ever knew was gone and my world was turned upside down.

There’s always an empty seat at the table, missing your presence. 

Traditions that we had since I was a little girl that are no longer there; holiday baking, decorating the tree and the house together, watching our favorite ABC Family movie “3 Days” together, letting me open gifts on Christmas Eve, ect,. because even though I’m not a little girl anymore you always tried to make Christmas magical for me.

I hope you still do all of that in Heaven; I hope you make Christmas magical for all the little ones up there without a mom or dad because anyone would be blessed to have you in their life, I know I was blessed to have you in mine.

I miss you, every second of every day, but this time of year just hits me hard. 

People told me when you passed away that the pain and hurt would lessen, that as time goes by, it doesn’t hurt as badly as it did the first time without you. 

I don’t think that’s true, I think as time, life, goes on the pain is still right there, just as big and awful as the day I had to say goodbye to you. 

This is my second Christmas without you and it’s by far harder than it was last year.

I hope those people are right, though. I hope that one day I’ll be able to enjoy this time of year again; that I’ll find someone or something to make it as magical for me as you did.

I would give anything in the world to have you home this year, to have one more day with you. 

But I know that you’re still here, you’re still with me even if I can’t see you anymore.

Merry Christmas, I hope it’s as magical for you as you always made it for me.

I love you, always and forever. 

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