To My Boyfriend, I Know Your Ex Hurt You, but I Swear I'm Only Ever Gonna Love You

No matter what I do or how hard I try, I can’t win with you. In your mind, I will always be this controlling, bossy, manipulative person because that’s what you want to see. 

You’ve been so blinded by your past that you’re unable to see anything else. You see the same flaws in everyone. Regardless of what I say or do, you hear and see what you choose to. 

You assume the worst in me because that’s all you’ve ever known.

Your ex was a bitch, but that doesn’t make me the same way. I'm here to show you that not everyone is the same. There can be good in people, too.

If I ask you about your day or what your plans are, it’s not because I’m trying to regulate them. I don’t care if you want to see your friends or even spend time alone. I'm not telling you to ask for my permission, and I don't want a detailed play-by-play.

I genuinely like hearing what you’re doing or how things are going because I like you. I want to be a part of your life, and that’s my way of doing so.

If I try and push you to do something or try something new, it’s because I care about you. I’m not trying to force you into it because of some need to control you. 

I’m just trying to look out for your best interests because that’s what people in relationships do for each other. 

There’s no malice behind my actions, just love and concern.

If I express disappointment in something, it doesn’t automatically mean that I’m disappointed in you. You constantly think that I’m unhappy with you or that you’re letting me down, but that couldn’t be further from the truth

Yes, sometimes I miss you and wish we could spend more time together, but it doesn’t mean I want you to give up other things you care about for me.

I can say all of these things until I’m blue in the face, but in the end, it’s only words. Nothing I do or say can prove to you how I feel in my heart or who I am as a person. 

So I'm asking you to let go of the past and see me for who I am. 

Trust that I’m not the same as her and that I would never hurt you or treat you the way that she did.

No matter how much it hurts to hear you constantly doubt me or call me bossy, I refuse to give up on us. I will never stop trying to prove myself to you, even when I feel it’s a losing battle.

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Published by

Erica Alisse

20 something old soul and somewhat of a hippie. Lover of music, coffee, the outdoors, and just life in general.

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