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To My Ex, It Killed Me When You Didn’t Choose Me, But I Forgive You

I thought to hear you say ‘I’m sorry’ would finally give me the closure I desperately needed.

I wanted more than anything to hear the words straight from your heart that you were sorry for stringing me along, that you’d finally realized it was always supposed to be me and you, that you loved me and this was just a big mistake.

That would’ve fixed us. I would’ve accepted it and welcomed you back with an open heart.

To hear those simple words would have shown me that you genuinely felt bad for causing me so much hurt while you were trying to figure out who you were, would have meant the world to me.

Two words: I’m sorry. That’s all I ever wanted to hear.

You broke my heart not once or even twice, but every single time you built me up to believe I meant more to you than I do. Only  to have you walk away as if I never mattered.

It seems like you just woke up one day and decided I was no longer worth your time. You walked away from me and from us and you never said goodbye.

You never gave me an explanation of what was so wrong with me (us) that you no longer wanted me and I waited so long to hear you say you were sorry for that.

But you probably won’t give me those words and I can’t keep torturing myself waiting around for it.

I waited for you to decide I was worth it, for you to choose me when in reality should have chosen me. I should have chosen better. I should have been worth more to me.

You hurt my feelings, but I let you. And I let you walk in and out of my life at will. But I let myself believe you would choose me in the end but I saw the way you looked at her.

You loved her. You loved her with your whole heart. And I never should’ve tried to stand between you and her.

So maybe I’m the one who owes you an apology. I fought so hard for our relationship, but I knew you loved her. And I knew you were happier with her. I did.  But I was selfish and wanted you to be mine which, ultimately would have made us both so unhappy….

I’m just so sorry that I didn’t walk away when I saw how happy she made you. And I am sorry that I made you unhappy by fighting with you over it all.  Most of all tho, I am sorry that my jealousy  ruined your chances with the girl who truly made you happy.

You deserve happiness and I wish you all the best. And so do I.

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