To My Grandma, I Miss You Every Day

You know that gut feeling you get when you just know something bad is going to happen? That’s the feeling I had going to bed that night.

I was woken up at 3 A.M. by my mother telling me the news I so badly never wanted to hear and in that moment I knew my life would forever be changed.

That morning I lost my grandma, my biggest supporter, and my best friend.

The days following were nothing close to easy. In those days I cried a lot and laughed at the memories shared between my family and I, but honestly I’ve never felt so lost in my life.

Nana, it’s been a year and a half now. I’ve experienced a lot of the hardships like having Christmas and birthdays without you but nothing was worse than not having you there last spring to watch me walk across the stage and graduate from high school.

Missing you comes in waves and somedays I feel like I’m drowning.

I imagine all of the things you’d say, all of the things we would do. I wonder how different things might have turned out if you were still here.

You’d probably yell at me if you could because I still cry for you. I will lay in bed at night and wish you were still here for me to talk to when things get tough. You believed in me when I couldn’t believe in myself.

I think the scariest thing is realizing I don’t remember your voice anymore. It’s been so long since I’ve heard it that it has faded away.

But I refuse to let your memory fade away completely because it’s all I have left.

I know you’re up there watching my every move and keeping me safe.

I can only hope I’m making you proud because I’m trying my best to become the woman you wanted me to be. I want to be able to see the best in people like you did. I want to grow as strong in my faith as you were in yours. I want to love with a heart as big as yours.

God truly blessed me when he put you in my life. I cannot wait for the day I get to see you again. I love you and I miss you.

Published by

Madalyn Perrin

Just your average 18 year old girl who lives Jesus, football, and the Real Housewives. Twitter handle: httpstwitter.commadalynperrin Facebook URL: https://www.facebook.com/madalyn.perrin

Exit mobile version