I can’t believe it’s been two years since we saw each other every day and had the other’s schedule memorized. We’re adults now.
You look happy. And I'm so glad you are but…I miss you.
Like a little overly attached child, I was petrified for you to go away. I remember sitting in my car after saying goodbye to you sobbing because I didn’t know how I was going to go on without you.
You were my voice of reason; you were my rock. And I was so incredibly scared that without you physically here that you would forget all about me.
Now I sit here in my bed with my cat and I'm supposed to be “happy.” I don’t even know what that means. But you and your new friends sure look cozy.
I click through all the photos you’re tagged in. Glowing faces. Smiles. And I can’t even help but wonder if they’re real. I know so many things are doctored for the internet. But you look happy.
There’s a spark in your eye. Even a sassy pose or two. You look like nothing could bring you down. And that’s so much more than how you looked when you were here.
I know that being away is good for you, I know you felt trapped here. But I really did feel like we were going to be inseparable forever and now, no matter how hard I fucking try, I can’t seem to feel whole again.
For so long I kept my hopes up that you would begin to hate your new life and decide to transfer back here. You’d love the city. But as I close out of another message you haven’t replied to, I start to let go of that hope.
Please don’t forget me.
We barely talk now and I’m so scared that one day you just won’t reply anymore. You say that won’t happen. We’ve been through so much together. You love me. And I love you back. You’re my best friend. You know me like the back of your hand.
But I feel like you’re changing right before my eyes and soon I won’t be relevant anymore.
Do you remember how we used to go on adventures? Somehow we always got caught in the rain but it never really stopped us. We would get lost because neither of us is good at directions, but looking back now it’s kind of hilarious.
You always made me feel carefree.You showed me that perfect is boring and stressful.
I tried so hard to hang on to you because I was so sure I’d unravel without you here. I called you over everything. Even came to visit. But as things dragged on you got busier and busier because life keeps going.
I know you’re happy now. You’re in a good place, at least that makes me feel better. But I used to be the one who made you happy. I used to be the one to pick up the pieces. Now like an old toy, dull and scratched, it’s like I’ve been moved from the bed to the closet to make room for my shiny new replacement.
As long as you’re happy it’s okay but…please don’t forget me.