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To My "Loyal" Friend Who Left…

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Let me start by saying, I'm not bitter.  I know what I did.  I know I was wrong.  I admit that.

But I never thought you would abandon me the way that you did.  

Just like the guy that ghosted me.  You remember the one.  One of many personal situations I confided in you about.

Confused.  Hurt.  Frustrated.  

Then and Now.

We had a special kind of friendship.  We had a lot of things in common.  

Both going through a "rough patch."  Both knowing the other could do better.  Both needing to blow off steam.  Both needing an escape from reality.  

We were each other's shoulders to cry on.  We were each other's drinking buddies.  Wing-Women.  And so many freaking hashtags.

We had a very rare no judgement friendship that neither of us had with our other friends.  

There wasn't drama.  Well, I shouldn't say that.  There's always a little bit of drama.  But we were real.  It was the most real friendship I had ever had.  

And then I fucked up.  You said that if I was honest with you that we would be fine.  I wish you'd given me the chance.  You are the only person I feel like I owe an explanation to, but you don't want one.  Even if you'd given me the chance, I would have warned you that this was the best decision for you.

I know we will never go back to the way we were, but I hope that you know I cherish the friendship that we had. 

The memories.  The laughs.  The cries.  The ups.  The downs.  

Thank you for being there for me when I needed you for that short amount of time.  

I'm sorry for the hurt I caused you.  I truly am.  You have no idea.

If you ever come back in my life, on purpose or on accident, please know that I would never hold this against you.  I respect the decision that you made.  I know it wasn't easy for you.  

I'm still the same no judgement friend that I have always been.  

If we never cross paths again, I truly wish you the best.  You are an amazing and inspiring person.  You spread yourself to thin for people who don't truly appreciate you and the things that you do and the things that you are capable of.  You are one of the best people I have ever known.  

Deep down you know how great you are.  Don't let anyone make you think otherwise.  You have a tendency to do that.  Let other people get in the way of your strength.  Don't.  You're better than them, and you know that because you'd never let them know that.  

Be You.  Truly You.  

And know that I'll miss you.

Goodbye Friend.    


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