Losing a loved one whether it's years ago, or still freshly cut into you is a pain like no one can explain.
It's like an invisible wound that never seems to completely close and heal, there's always something that seems to cause it to bleed even just a little.
I look around and see signs, cards, flower arrangements… a vast array of things for people to say thank you for being the amazing mom's that you ladies are for your children.
I used to get mad, maybe even jealous watching people pick stuff out. It's a bit easier now but I still get that lump in my throat and a pain in my chest.
Sometimes I'll tear up at the fact that all I have are my memories of you. I'd love more then anything to be able to call you and hear your voice even if for a second.
If there was visiting hours I'd be there everyday just to see your face, I miss you so much it physically hurts at times.
I know that you'd be shaking your head at me right now for feeling sorry for myself, and maybe that's what get's me through most days.
So even though I don't have you face to face I need to tell you from the bottom of my heart… Thank You.
Thank you for watching over me and even being gone, living through me and everything I do. For having been my number one cheerleader and protector in my life, and making me strong enough to be my own.
Thank you for making me as loving, kind, and nurturing just as much as I am stubborn, fierce, and independent.
For teaching me to accept everyone as they are and that my happiness is more important than holding onto anger and resentment.
Thank you for making me open my eye's and appreciate every single day I have on this Earth. You are on my mind every day and a true part of my soul.
If it weren't for you I wouldn't be the wonderful woman I have become today, and you will forever be my heart.
