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To the Best Friend I Pushed Away, I Really Need You Back in My Life

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Please listen when I say I'm truly, genuinely sorry. I didn't mean to lead you on in any way. 

You have always known my heart belonged to someone else, but that didn't stop our friendship before. Suddenly, when it was spelled it out for you, everything changed. 

No goodbye, just, poof. I was left without the amazing friend that I thought I was going to have for the rest of my life.

We had a relationship. Sure, it wasn't romantic and never intended to be, but it was a relationship, nonetheless. Why was that not good enough for you?

The fact that you walked away because you were "friend-zoned" actually made me question your initial intentions. 

You were so sincere, genuine, and all around real – at least so I had thought. You had been my best friend all this time. 

We would watch movies together, message on the daily, and offer up the best advice. 

Watching you walk away from me after all this time really hurt, and I honestly felt backstabbed. It stung because I think so highly of you and truly admire you as a person.

I love you, even if it's not in the way you want me to. Does that really change our deep conversations? Does it erase all the fun we had hanging out? Above all, does it eliminate the connection we had? No. 

So, why did you act like it did?

Please, show me that you genuinely cared about me, and weren't just trying to get into my pants and be my friend again.

I don't want to lose our long talks about nothing, that somehow always turned into everything. I don't want to lose your seemingly endless support, no matter what was going on in my life. 

Most importantly, I don't want to lose you. Let me care for you in the way I know how.

You're not just "the guy I friend-zoned." You're my best friend, and I need you back.

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