You were my first. And not just my first real kiss, not just my first partner in crime. I gave you everything first. And you don't let something go easily when they once meant so much to you.
And you taught me so much. You taught me what it looks like when someone holds your heart. You taught me how to believe in myself, how to be proud of the things I did for myself.
You taught me that it's okay to be a little scared when you know that you're falling.
But what you didn't teach me was how to stay.
How to hold on to someone even when you know that they have to leave you.
Because life gets in the way. We both know that. And things change and people change and it happens so fast that most of the time, we don't even know what we're letting go of until it's too late.
But I just wanted you to know that if I could go back I wouldn't change one single thing.
Because as much pain as you caused, you also gave me so much love.
Too much love. The kind of love that I'll think about years from now, when I haven't seen you in what feels like forever.
I won't soon forget the way that you looked at me, the way that every girl dreams someone will look at her one day because she's means that much to him.
She means the world and she carries more than she knows, more than she will ever understand.
And I have forgiven you. For all the little things you never noticed. How you kept me waiting. How I thought I was going to marry you one day.
And now I have come to terms that you were just my first not my last.
And that not everyone gets happy ending with the person that they want. We have to go out and find new people to call ours.
And that's okay.
Just know that when I think about you, I smile. Because what you gave to me, what you taught me, no one else ever can.
You came first. And I had to accept that us breaking was just fate being unkind.
I know that now and I am not bitter or sad.
Just know that I won't ever forget you. No matter what happens, I will always carry you in my heart.
