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To The Girl Who Always Puts Her Needs On The Back Burner, It’s Okay To Be Selfish

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I know who you are, you’re the girl that can count on one hand how many times you have put yourself before anyone else.

You’re the girl that even in the toughest situations still finds a reason to put yourself on the back burner.

You’re the girl who always has a smile on her face and when someone asks if anything is wrong your first response is always “nothing.”

Even though that always isn’t necessarily true is it? You could be struggling and having the worst day ever and you’ll completely file it away to help someone else.

Everyone comes to you when they need advice because you’re always willing to listen and never quick to judge.

You are the shoulder to cry on, the one who appears with ice cream when your friend’s hearts are breaking, you bring flowers when they’re having a bad day and you drop whatever you’re doing if they tell you they need you.

You’d do anything for the people that mean the most to you and I think that is admirable and selfless.

There aren’t a lot of you left in this world; it seems most folks are too preoccupied on what is going to be best for themselves to think about others, but not you.

You’re the first to offer help whenever it’s needed, whether money, advice, a shoulder, a place to stay or anything else that comes your way but you wouldn’t dream of telling anyone you needed help.

It’s stressful even if you won’t admit it. I know you struggle with figuring out what you’re going to do with your own life and the path you’re supposed to take.

You may wonder how I know all of this and it’s because I’m exactly like you.

I would never dream of putting myself before the people that matter the most to me, in fact, I never do. I always think about long-term and who else will be affected by my actions or decisions.

I could have made my life so much easier in situations if I just would have thought of myself but you already know that didn’t happen, because as much as we tell ourselves that we can’t keep doing this, we do it anyways.

From one back burner to the other I’m going to let you in on one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to wrestle with.

It’s okay to put yourself first.

Yeah, you read that right; it is absolutely 100% alright to allow yourself the opportunity to be first. That doesn’t make you selfish and any less of a wonderful person. How can you continuously be there for others if you don’t take care of yourself? You will wear yourself out if you continue on like this.

Not just your physical but your mental and emotional health are so important and they deserve as much focus as anything else. It’s okay to make time for yourself, to make decisions that are best for you. I promise it’s not as terrible as it seems and you are still the same person as you were before.

Everyone at some point needs to put themselves first. Everyone does it. I repeat, everyone is allowed to put themselves first time to time and that includes you.

You wouldn’t be bothering or upsetting those close to you if there comes a moment that you tell them that you’re not okay and that you need a shoulder as well. I promise they will be there by your side judgment-free, willing to return all the favors you have given them.

You have to find a balance, a comfortable middle that allows you to be the kind, caring, outgoing and generous person you are without forgetting to take care of yourself as well.

Don’t stop taking other’s feelings in mind and helping them when you can because I know you can’t do that.

I know this won’t happen overnight, you can tell yourself you’re going to start doing this till you’re blue in the face, trust me I know. You can shake your head and agree with me but until you actually do it you just may run yourself ragged.

So no, it’s not selfish to prioritize yourself from time to time. You deserve it because only you know what you can handle and what you can’t. You’re the girl that is relied on by so many people, which is great but please don’t forget that in order to be there for those people you have to be there for yourself as well.

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