First things first, congratulations.
Marrying ________ (insert undeserving ex-fiances name here) wasn’t the path that was meant for you.
This is the Universe’s way of redirecting you to something bigger, better, and more meaningful.
Secondly, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
You aren’t the first person to end an engagement and you won’t be the last.
When I called off my engagement I was mortified and afraid, thinking no one else had ever been through this.
Cue four people from my hometown ending their engagements within months of mine (who knew it would start trending?!)
Calling off an engagement is similar to a breakup but on steroids.
It’s messy as hell, especially if you’d already booked a venue, sent out save the dates, and ordered a wedding dress.
But having to deal with those details isn’t reason enough to stay in an unhappy relationship.
You’re breaking off your engagement because it’s BROKEN. That means you have undeniable strength.
It also means you know your worth and aren’t willing to settle which makes you a total BOSS BABE.
You will likely go through a period of mourning following the ending of things.
Even if it’s a good loss, it’s still a loss of someone who played a significant role in your life for a period of time.
There is no pain quite like heartbreak.
You feel that shit deep in your soul.
Yet there are no visible wounds, no magic pill or remedy to make it all better.
You just have to just feel it and know that it won’t kill you even when it feels like it’s going to.
None of us like to feel uncomfortable emotions and will avoid them at all costs (maybe by jumping into a relationship with someone else immediately or turning to drugs and alcohol).
Pain hurts. But it cannot leave you if you do not feel it. Let it hurt. Let it stir your core. And then let it leave.
If you find yourself romanticizing the relationship, wait until you’re in a more rational head space and then make a list of all the negative aspects of your relationship; all the things that bothered you about him; every single shitty thing he ever did or said to you.
Whip it out anytime you revert back to “But we were so in love. How could it be over?”
My friends made their own lists for me about my ex fiance which was awesome because they put down things I never noticed or had forgotten (including a picstitch of my ex next to The Count from Sesame Street where they look eerily alike).
When you start having the “I’m going to be alone forever” freak outs, take a deep breath.
Stop comparing yourself to all your married friends and literally throw away the timeline you had in your head.
Everyone’s journey is different.
You will absolutely meet someone down the road who won’t find you difficult to love and will take on the task of loving you back to life.
Put those fears to rest and focus on falling in love with yourself again.
Do the things that make your soul feel alive. Surround yourself with people who make you laugh and love you for exactly who you are.
New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings. Let this chapter of your life close because what’s coming is better than what’s gone.
Put trust into your journey even when you don’t understand it and give yourself a lot of credit for being so courageous.
You’re doing awesome.
