You never thought this would happen… and rightfully so. Not one person deserves to go through what you're going through right now. No one deserves to feel all the pain you're feeling. There are some people I can't stand; some people I really, really, really, don't like. But I STILL would not wish that pain on anyone.
First off, I'm so sorry. I am so, so, so, SO deeply and honestly sorry. I know you loved this person. And I know you probably thought you were going to marry this person. I know I did. I thought I was going to have a future with him. I thought I was going to marry him and spend forever with him. But now, your whole world is upside down. You can't focus on anything and you can only hold it together for so long. So my first word of advice is to don't.
Don't hold it together. Cry. Cry if you already haven't. I know you've maybe been trying to keep it together, but cry. Cry everything out. Listen to that song and feel, and cry, and scream and run. Feel everything you are feeling right now and let it out. This is important. You can only keep it in for so long. Those feelings are real, and they're intense, and they fucking hurt. So let. it. out.
This next thing I am going to tell is the most important think I'm going to say. So please, PLEASE, listen. You. Didn't. Do. Anything. Wrong. Now read it again. YOU. DIDN'T. DO. ANYTHING. WRONG! Please believe me when I say this. You're probably going to go back and think of everything you might've done wrong. What did I do? I must've done something to make him want to do it. Why am I not enough? I used to be enough, he used to want me, why not anymore? What's wrong with me? Am I too boring? Am I too thin? Too thick? Please. If you're asking yourself these questions, stop. Don't do that yourself. You haven't done one thing. Not one God damn thing to deserve this. I'll say it again one last time: You didn't do anything wrong, don't question yourself.
Now, go do something fun; do something for yourself. Get a piercing you've always wanted, go shopping, finally get that tattoo you were too scared to get. Feeling good about yourself is something you need to do right now. So whatever you need to do to accomplish this, do it.
Next, not yet if you're not ready, because I know I wasn't right away, but get rid of their things and the things they gave you. This person does not care about you. I'm sorry to tell you this, but they don't. No matter what they say or try to convince you otherwise. They cheated on you. They completely betrayed you. You need to cleanse yourself.
Lastly, don't wallow. Not forever. You're absolutely broken and that's okay!! It will get better… just not right away. You're going to have good days and bad days. But eventually you will have less bad days. Don't you dare wallow in your brokenness. You are special. You are beautiful. You are smart. You are sexy. You are strong. You are wise. You are driven. You are fierce. You are all these things and so much more. So don't wallow, you are too beautiful of a person and owe it to yourself to be happy.
So, I hope this helps. I know these are some of the things that I needed/should've heard when I was broken. The thing is though though… I didn't stay broken. I put myself together and I became a better, strong, and more beautiful person because of it. And so will you.
