I'm Sorry.
If I would've seen in you what you saw in me, I would've given anything to date you. Honestly, I probably would've wanted a real relationship with you. I didn't see then, what I do see now, which is that you were completely into me in ways no one has been in a very long time.
No, you weren't "in love" with me, nor were your feelings towards me anything close to serious. However, you wanted to give me a chance. You wanted to get to know me.
You wanted to take me out on a casual date, and just have some old-fashioned conversation. You wanted me to come to parties with you, and hang out with friends on poker night.
The thing is, I wanted all of those things too.
I wanted a none serious, "no strings attached," relationship. I needed something apart from the drama and long-term relationship I was always in. I wanted to have a fun going, casual dating relationship with someone. And that someone was you.
I could have had that with you. Instead, I chose to run away scarce before anything could actually grow between us.
Actually, I blew you off and pushed you away before anything could even initiate.
And for that, I am beyond sorry.
I'm sorry I got your hopes up, just to tear them back down. I'm sorry I didn't make you feel important to me when you actually were. I'm sorry for not being a better communicator from the start, and for causing so much confusion.
Most of all, I'm sorry for not allowing you to really get to know me. The real me. And for making myself look like someone I am not. For making myself look like someone I'm not proud of.
I see now that I made myself look like a user. I made myself look like an attention seeker. I became a good faker and at times a liar.
For all these things and more, I want to apologize.
Because if I would've given you the chance to see the real me, I know things would have turned out differently.
So for making you feel like you're not worth it. For making you think I didn't care about you at all whatsoever. And for ultimately ruining any chance of being with you,
I am sorry.
I wish things would have gone differently.
Believe me, you deserve a chance, and you're worth it.