The thought of how I hurt you still kills me when I think about it. Although I’m sure by now, the pain has subsided and I am a mere memory to you. Still, I just needed to say it because it has been such a heavy burden on me for so long.
You may never want to hear from me, see my face, or think about me again. Which is understandable, but I have some things I need to tell you. I want to start off by saying I’m sorry. I’m sorry I hurt you and I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you and be a better girlfriend.
I also wanted to say thank you. No man has ever treated me better than you have. You’d given me the world and more and always made me feel special.
As cliché as this sounds, you taught me how to love. You showed me that there are men out there who are good, who won’t just use me for my body, who won’t keep me around just for convenience, who won’t emotionally abuse me.
I say with complete confidence that you are one of the best people I have met in my life, and not just romantically speaking. You have such a beautiful soul even after facing such great adversity in your life.
Every time I was knocked down, you always picked me up again.
You made me a priority and not an option. I knew that with you I didn’t have to play games to get you to like me. I’ve had a lot of guys like me just to use me, but you were the first and only man that has truly loved and respected me.
You always went the extra mile to make me happy; whether it was when you bought me random things when you didn’t have to, wrote me cute notes, or how you were always there when I needed a shoulder to cry on.
I never once lost an ounce of sleep thinking you had a wandering eye. I never woke up looking in the mirror wondering why I wasn’t good enough. I never sat anxiously waiting at my phone wondering if I will hear from you. You never tried to change me- you just loved me for the person I was.
You are the only strong, stable relationship I’ve ever had. You always made me feel safe and loved. I’d been so used to being treated poorly by men it became the norm for me, and you showed me the way out.
Now, whenever I find myself insecure or going through a hard time, I remember how you loved me. I will never forget your love. I couldn't if I tried.
Whenever I find myself having shallow tendencies or focusing on unimportant things in life, I think back to you and how things like that never mattered then and they don’t have to now. I remember to be an authentic person and that I don’t have to get sucked into being petty.
Because of you, I know that there is a much deeper meaning to life and that there are so many more important things than being caught up in petty emotions. So, if you ever thought that I haven’t thought of you since the breakup, you were wrong.
You’ve taught me a lot of things and somehow still give me reality checks even when you’re not around. Because you are a genuine person with a big heart, and that is a rarity.
I want nothing more than for you to always remember that and believe in yourself and be happy.
