To the boy who found someone else,
People walking in and out of your life nowadays has become weirdly normal. But when that person leaving is your first love, it’s heat breaking. I used to ask myself questions trying to piece together why this happened to me. Was I not good enough? Too clingy? Was there someone else? The thoughts flew through my head for months before I finally realized why. There was someone else. That “someone else” was the girl you told me not to worry about. Blindly, I believed you, I had nothing to worry about.
So instead, I fell in love with you and every word that you said. I’d never found a person who was able to make me feel unlike anyone before ever could. Trust, its such a small word but has such big meaning. You are usually lead to believe that the boy who put his all into you would never do anything to purposely hurt you. But purposely, or not you hurt me more than anyone could understand. Your first love, is a big one. Its someone who is able to open up your mind to all of the possibilities that could be. It’s someone who promises to love you unconditionally and never leave you. Its someone that you put your whole heart and mind into. The sleepovers, the way you cooked me dinner, brought me to all of your games just so you could look out and see my smiling face. The lists of everything we planned to do before I left for college. For those six months I truly believed that our love was real and nothing was going to change that. Of course I was naive enough to believe that the other girl meant nothing to you. For the first couple of months we were crazy about each other, but towards the end I started to see the change in your mood. You would constantly hold back when I asked what was bothering you but then that one day when you picked me up and started telling me that this wasn't what you wanted it all started to make sense. It was her, this whole time it was her. When we stopped talking I had never felt more lost.
The one person that truly made me happy was gone. I felt as if I would never be able to overcome this pain. Now, almost four months later I have begun to realize that I can live and be happy without you. I hope that you are still reminded of me in little things that you do and in little things that people say and if you aren't, just know I will always think of you. No matter how much I’ve grown without you, everything I do or everywhere I go, I could still see myself going with you. But thats not necessarily a bad thing it is helping me to become a better version of myself. Every time that I see you post a picture with that “someone else” it just reminds me that I don't need you. I don't need you to bring me happiness all I need is myself. Of course, I still think about you every day. I wonder how you are doing, how she is treating you and i hope to God that she does treat you well because no matter what happened between us I will always love you and hope for the best for you. Thank you for showing me that not every person who says goodbye to you is a loss. The only true loss in life is when you loose yourself. And sure, I did loose myself for a while but I’ve begun to find ways to find myself again and I am forever grateful for you and the wonderful memories that you have left me with.
