I met you at the darkest time in my life, so I’d like to start by apologizing for that. You deserve the world, and when I met you I gave you hell instead.
You stuck through it and you’re amazing for that. Maybe that’s why I came back to you. You were a blessing and a lesson, and here we are, same old perfect you and this new me.
You see, the girl who lashed out uncontrollably, used words like knives, then kissed you back to life as if nothing had ever happened was sick. I don’t mean sick as evil, I mean her brain didn’t work correctly, and no one could help her, not even you.
Looking back, I know as well as you do that you should’ve run when I first yelled, but you didn’t… you knew.
That girl, though, is still part of me. But I’m not that girl. Do you get that? I hope you can tell.
I won’t deny everything that happened because it’s part of our past, but I’m willing to let go of the memory of it if you are.
I’m not embarrassed to say that through medication and therapy I’m someone I can see myself loving, and now I’m here, and I’m quite unreasonably asking for a second chance.
There were many before you, but few after. You had a heart that broke mine for months, even when I broke yours because you were the only boy that looked at me like I put the god damn stars in the sky even after she tore you down.
You know I love the night, and more specifically the moon, and you never failed to be my moon. Even on my darkest days, you loved me enough to light up the sky and show off the beauty and potential to be something special that you always found inside of me.
Now I need you. I need you to be my moon, to call me when things get rough, to make fun of me when I do things wrong, and kiss me back to reality.
I came back to you, but you’re only meeting me for the first time.
Continuously I’m sorry, for the timing of your arrival in my life is something I would give my all to change. I promise to prove to you that I am everything you thought I could be one day, and I promise to bandage up where my mouth has left open cuts on your soul.
I understand you don’t want the old me, I never want her again in my life, and I’m hoping that maybe you’ll want the new me like I want you.
Same face, same hair, but I’m someone you’ve never met before – so hi, I’m the new version of the girl who broke your heart, and I think we’ll get along quite nicely.
About The Author
Lauren Andre
I began writing as a way to say the things that I felt I had no one to tell, and the majority of these writings I kept to myself. As I’ve grown into my 20s, I felt that in sharing my personal stories and thoughts I could help just one person who feels the way I did. Even if it only reaches one person searching for the answer, I hope that what I write can be a source of comfort when the world feels cold.
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