In 2017, it is easy for a Mom to start to question her capabilities as a parent. I am probably not the only Mom on the planet to struggle with making decisions on whether or not to vaccinate, if the cry it out method is feasible, or how much television time to allow a child. If you are like me you have probably at one point in your life sought out the help of others via social media, hoping that someone else may have some input into the parenting question you have. Maybe you have sought out the input of a friend/family member. You are not wrong in doing that, and not knowing the answer to some of these common parenting struggles does not make you a bad Mom either.
If you have already sought out advice on social media you probably are already aware of the kind of feedback that may be coming your way. When it comes to social media there is likely a frenzy of other Moms out there ready, and waiting to tell you that you are doing this, that, or the other wrong. They are ready to jump on the topic and tell you that they tried this, or they would never do that, and if you do what they wouldn't do then they will tell you how outrageous it is. Seeking the advice of social media sometimes can leave a Mom feeling worse, and perhaps more confused than she was when she made the public post, "Should I give my baby a pacifier?". I'm not trying to deter you from making these posts. By all means if you feel you need advice, go for it! I personally have made several social media posts asking for advice. What I want to let you know though, is that you shouldn't let the posts of others on your innocent question discourage you.
If you are a Mom who asks for advice on certain things then congratulations, that shows you care about the well-being of your child. I can't say that there is no "wrong" in parenting because we both know that there are obviously certain things that a parent should not do, but there was never a parenting bible etched in stone, in 4004 BC. Every child is different, every situation is different, and you are different than other Moms. Although other social media Moms might turn up their noses to the fact that you want to feed little Johnny solids at four months – you know your child, and your situation best.
Aside from social media perhaps you have sought out the advice of one of your friends, or family members. In my experience as a Mom I found that whether you seek that advice from social media, or from someone who you know personally it can end up the same. One thing that always bothered me a little was asking for advice and getting "Well I did it this way…" or, "When my baby was at that stage I did this". I didn't ask for your input on your situation! I didn't ask what you did! I asked what I should do, and our situations likely are not 100% the same. While advice of that sort can sometimes be beneficial, it also can make your own situation a little more frustrating. There is no greater of a shitty feeling when you are a Mom, than when someone you know tells you to do it a specific way because that's what they did. While their words may mean well, it might also leave you feeling like a bad Mom. Please know that this isn't the case.
As a Mom you are going to run into struggles, and questions. You are going to make mistakes. In this life there is no such thing as perfection. Don't let the possibility of failing take away that opportunity for you to be the kind of Mom your child(ren) need in that moment. Your child(ren) won't expect you to be perfect. They will expect you to be emotionally supportive, loving, and a good provider to their basic needs. It isn't likely that your child has read the latest article on "Why you shouldn't vaccinate". Your child trusts you to know what is best for them. You are their Mom, not that girl ranting on your Facebook post about not breast feeding your baby. You, and only you know what is best. You were given the maternal instinct to know what is best for the baby you made.
It is OK to seek advice, and it is OK to question if what you are doing is right. This is just something that comes a long with the large role you took on. But please don't get too discouraged. You need to know that just because you have questions, or choose to do something entirely different does not make you a bad Mom. We are human, and we were born to make mistakes. There is no one else in the world who knows what's best for your child better than you! You are a good Mom, and you will get through this.
The image isn't mine – http://www.rd.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2017/05/02_kiss_Tips-to-Surviving-Mothers-Day-Without-Your-Mother_374105464_Sergiu-Birca-380×254.jpg
