“So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s going to be really hard; we’re gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me… everyday.”
? Nicholas Sparks,The Notebook
To the next man to come into my life,
It won’t be easy. It will take a lot of persistence for both of us.
I promise you I am worth it.
When you are so comfortable being on your own it takes a special kind of person to bring you out of that.
You see, the reason I am so comfortable on my own is because of the pain I’ve endured.
You’ll notice it every time in my failures, I break myself down. You’ll notice it every time I disappoint you, I will wait for you to leave. You’ll notice it every time you make a quick movement, I flinch.
And I desperately hope you can understand that there are going to be times I shut you out, there are going to be times that I try to walk away, there are going to be times where I feel like giving up on us altogether.
No matter how much you try to lift me up in the beginning, I won’t believe it.
You’ll get frustrated with me. It’ll be hard to understand at first. Probably for the fact I won’t share much of my past with you. I will leave it a dark void in my life. You’ll spend countless hours wondering what you could change.
I will be closed off from you, fearing you’ll see how broken I am and want something more perfect. Somewhere along the way, I started to believe no one loves the broken record.
Every day it will get better and every day I will let you break my walls a little more. Slowly but surely.
On the hard days, you will look at me and tell me “It’s Okay.” I’ll start running the other direction less, you’ll stop having to chase me.
You will break my walls by showing me the compassion and love I deserve.
You will show me the beauty in my scars. That you can love me for all I am; for the best parts of me, for the worst parts of me, and everything in between.
You’re going to show me a love so pure I will forget the pain I’ve endured. You will have shown me all the love in your heart for me.
One day I will stop fearing what you may or may not do. I will stop fearing what I might or might not lose.
I pray for this all so badly so that one day I can love you unconditionally without fear, just as one day you love me.
I’m promising you it won’t be easy. I’m promising you that I will be worth it, that WE will be worth it.
I can’t wait to meet you, and maybe I already have. Maybe I just don’t know it yet.