First off I want to start off by saying this is not an article for you or even for. It’s for all the girls who were or are in unhealthy relationships. All of you are survivors. It’s never too late to ask for what you deserve. In the past two years I’ve learned that life isn’t easy, neither are relationships. Relationships are messy and you have no idea but what actually happens between two people unless you’re one of them.
To the second guy I fell in love with,
I never thought I would ever feel this way for you but I guess love has a funny way of sneaking up on you. I learned a lot from dating you. Five years of chasing me, you finally caught me. I should’ve kept running and never looked back.
I know it wasn’t your fault that we ended like this. It was mine, that night shouldn’t have happened. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I take full responsibility for it. You get to a point though where “I’m sorry’s” and I love you’s are just words without meaning. I’m finally walking away, after 6 months. It’s been an up and down see-saw with us and honestly we both deserve better people. If you can’t forgive for a mistake I made 6 months ago then it will never work out between us. Our relationship wasn’t just filled with I love you’s, adventures and goodnight kisses. That’s the way it looked on the outside. When you’re in an unhealthy relationship like we were, it’s fighting till 2am, panic attacks, tears and pain you thought you’d never feel in your whole life.
It may not have been the healthiest relationship after 2 months but we really did love each other. Sometimes that’s just not enough. Some people believe we only get one soulmate in this crazy thing called life. I disagree, I believe people come into our lives for a reason. Rather than remembering the bad times, I choose to remember the great times. I choose to remember the time we went to AC and ran around the casino like 2 crazy kids in love. I choose to remember us getting stuck in the woods, not once but twice. I choose to remember our Philly adventures. I choose to remember our picnics at blue hole. I choose to remember how you had the biggest, goofiest smile on your face when you picked me up from the airport. I choose to remember. We had a lot of good times but we definitely had nights where I never wanted to speak to you again.
It may be completely over between us but that doesn’t mean this pain has gone away. I have good and bad days just like anyone who’s been through a horrible breakup. I have days where I kinda forget about you, but other days you’re all I think about. I know that will go away soon.
Goodbye,
Emma.
I’m a survivor of an emotionally abusive relationship. Please speak out if you or you know someone is in an abusive relationship or has been in one. I couldn’t be more thankful for my therapist.