Men are pretty simple, right? Feed them. Watch ESPN with them. Fuck them. Easy as pie… or not.
If you’re anything like me, often figuring out what the hell your man wants to be happy is the equivalent of building the next NASA spacecraft.
After many years of playing a backwards game of Clue, I finally went to the source, men themselves, and asked them what the ideal sexual relationship with their partner would look like.
Here’s what I came up with…
1. Oral is not optional… If you’re one of those girls that gags at the idea of orally pleasing your man (no pun intended), think again.
9 out of the 10 guys that I interviewed said that no oral sex in a relationship is pretty much a deal breaker. If it’s just not your thing, try something fun like flavored lube or condoms to get your mojo going.
2. Stop taking yourself so damn seriously… 100% of the guys I spoke to agreed that sex with their partner should be fun. So, stop practicing the perfect pose to make your stomach look flat at an angle or trying to emulate what you saw on PornHub and just go with it.
I once heard someone say “If you’re not laughing during sex, you’re sleeping with the wrong person,” and I agree. Men dig chicks who are comfortable with themselves. Be that girl!
3. It’s okay to take the lead… Remember that cheer “Be Aggressive. B.E. Aggressive!”? Well, they didn’t teach us that for nothing.
In the age of the independent woman, it is quite alright to be in charge from time to time. Men love confident women, and nothing says I’m a boss bitch like a spontaneous, female dominating nooky session.
Restaurant? Party? Backseat of the car? Why the hell not?! Show him you want him. He is your man after all.
4. It’s not all about sex… Yes, I know this is a sex blog, but many of the men I spoke with said that communication is just as important as getting it on. Men want to be comfortable around you.
They want to know that they can confide in you and be your friend. When a man trusts you with his heart and the things that keep him up at night, you build a type of intimacy and chemistry that becomes undeniable in the bedroom.
5. Having boundaries is hot… When it’s all said and done, men are happy when you’re happy. If there’s something you do or don’t like that’s happening in your sex life, speak up! Always wanted to try something new with your partner? Tell him! Don’t like that weird thing he does with his tongue? Make it stop!
Men respect women who aren’t afraid to speak their mind. Don’t shy away from how you feel just so you don’t make things awkward. Learn each other and teach each other what you will and will not tolerate between the sheets to make the best experience for the both of you.
At the end of the day, do what makes you happy. Just don’t say I didn’t tell you so…
