I thought I needed saving when he decided to walk away. I thought this would be the end of me and for a very long while after we broke up that was the case.
I spent my time being broken and depressed. I spent my time angry and hurt. I spent even more time than anything else asking why was I not enough for him.
I thought maybe some how if he came back into my life that everything would be fine and I wouldn't be so broken.
But what this time alone has shown me is that it wasn't up to him to fix and save the broken me. It was up to me to find and save myself.
My happiness should have never been based on weather or not he was in my life. He was a major part of it. And I know I am not the only girl out there struggling after he walked out the door and never looked back.
So my happiness will not be based on people, or things, but on the times that bring joy to me. Like learning about myself and finding out just who I am when the pressure is on, and everyone walks away.
I learned my weaknesses, and my greatest strengths. And the ticks about myself, or the small things that give me joy.
The trick is to understand that no one is ever going to know you better than you should know yourself.
Your past will never define your future if you don't let it. Even in a relationship, even with close friends, and family. No one will know you like you know you.
You are the one person who knows it all and can save yourself no matter how low things get, or how the odds are stacked in your favor.
I can proudly say I saved myself from the darkness because I realized that my happiness lives within myself instead of thinking or believing that it depends on the role someone plays in your life.
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