We all have that one person that came into our lives and messed everything up. This person seemed like someone who was worth taking a risk for but over time began to slowly ruin your life. They shattered your confidence. Made you feel inadequate to the point where you wish you didn’t exist. But despite it all, there’s still a part of you that loves him regardless of what they put you through. You kind of hate yourself for it, but don’t, there are ways to move on from a toxic relationship when you’re still in love.
He may have been the type of person who made you change who you are to please him. Or maybe he cheated on you and controlled you, and didn’t let you have your own life. You probably lost friends and distanced yourself from your family over the relationship.
And again, despite all of that, even after the break-up, you still find yourself wanting to be with him. Here are a few ways to move on, start loving yourself again, and maybe even one day – find someone else to love.
1. Doing things you enjoy will ignite a passion in you that will fill the void of the passion the toxic relationship seemed to give your life. Getting out and doing things may help you meet new friends or a new partner, who enjoys the same things as you. Find those hobbies you used to love again. Or find new ones, try new things, have new experiences.
2. Reach out to your family. Your family will always love you and care about you throughout all the mistakes you make. Start spending time with them again, which you probably neglected during your relationship. Go on vacation with them, shopping, hiking, anything. They are the only people who will be with you through it all.
3. Just spend time with people that actually love and care about your well being. Apologize for the mistakes you made while you were in your old relationship that might have distanced you. Move past them and start making new memories.
4. Try to incorporate a new healthy habit into your daily routines: Try something new every day for 30 days straight and see how it makes you feel. Choose meditation, yoga, painting, going to the gym, going for a walk, or anything that fits into your daily life.
5. Learn to love yourself again and be happy being alone: Chances are throughout the toxic relationship you lost yourself being so consumed in the toxicity of the relationship.There is so much more to love about yourself and you need to realize that.
6. Don’t keep doing the same thing and expect change, that’s insanity: If you want to move on, make changes that help you do that. Don’t contact your ex, don’t see them, don’t keep up the same toxic pattern that you continuously went through in the past because nothing will change. If you want to move on and make the changes to move on, you will, if you aren’t ready to for whatever reason that’s fine too. Read and get advice online and offline. There are plenty of good resources and support groups that can help you with moving and understanding when to end a relationship.
You may think this person has ruined your life. But in reality, he didn’t and you still have a long life ahead of you. You can get through this, and you will.
One day you will look back and think, “wow, I never thought I was going to get over that,” and you will feel great knowing you did. And hopefully soon enough you will meet someone who is completely deserving of the love you have to offer, and they will love you better than you have ever been before.