The way your words made me feel so special is a feeling I will never forget. It truly felt, to me, as if our paths crossed for a reason that ran deeper than both of us combined. You opened your heart to me and told me you loved me, but all without realizing that this is only a temporary feeling for you.
You told me how grateful you were to have found a guy as understanding and comforting as me. You swore I was so different than the rest and you were so happy that your search was finally over. You thought this was what you wanted, but I was just a placeholder for the guy you will date after me.
You used me to show you how a man should properly treat you, and after you abruptly ended “us,” you carried those qualities forward.
I always made you my first priority, always went out of my way to put a smile on your face even in the moments mine was missing. You took me home to meet your family, your friends, the people who mean most to you in this world. I created relationships with all of them because knew how important they were to you.
But with time, you came to realize that you “didn’t feel ready” to date anyone… or at least me. You admitted you’ve never felt so strongly for someone before, but apparently that wasn’t enough for you to stay. It seemed like you walked away from me with little remorse as if you were totally fine just cutting me out of your life and moving on.
You apologized frantically, over and over about the “timing” and that you wish it didn’t have to end like this. But if you truly wanted us to be together, you would’ve made it work. I would have done no wrong on my part, only love and support you for who you are and all that you have.
And what kills me the most is, in the time we spent together, you came to learn all my favorite things in life, while also learning my biggest insecurities and flaws, and when it all came to a screeching halt, you used it all against me. Maybe in some twisted way you thought you were helping me, coaching me on what I need to work on after you broke my heart.
Didn’t you think I was already wracking my brain for every little thing I did that drew you away?
Did you realize that maybe my heart was aching because I lost the girl I thought was my ‘one,’ only to realize I was just a stand-in for your next boyfriend?
And yet, somehow within my blind sickness from heartbreak, I still hold out believing you will come back. Hanging onto this false sense of hope I have, thinking I will get to tell all those who doubted me that they were wrong. But the truth is, deep down I know that the answer is definitively no, you won’t be coming back.
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