It hits you out of nowhere. First it’s just a follow request or a quick swipe from some handsome guy online. Then comes the first message that just feels like a little confidence boost, no big deal.
All of a sudden, the messages keep going and going. It goes from talking online to texting, calling and eventually Facetime… For hours upon hours.
You feel so comfortable, like you have known him for years. Why is it so easy to be myself with him?
Almost daily you ask yourself what the fuck is going on. This person lives a million miles away, it can never work.
But yet, you Just. Can’t. Stop. You realize that this online stranger knows more about you, your life and your past than anyone ever has before.
This seemingly innocent online flirting has turned into real feelings. He says he loves you and you say it back, with the same butterflies as the first time your first love told you he loved you.
There is something really special about creating a connection with someone by only talking. There is no confusion about being used only for your body. It’s just a raw spark between two like-minded people.
You become obsessed with finding out if this person is everything they say they are.
It starts to consume you. You daydream about the day you finally meet in person. What will it feel like to be in his arms for the first time? What will the first kiss feel like?
Will things be the same when we are face to face? What will he think of my unfiltered face and body?
Even worse, what if it never actually happens and I never get these firsts with him? We have told each other our deepest secrets but what if none of it is real?
Your friends and family think you’re crazy. They just don’t understand the deep connection that you are feeling. They ask, “How can you be in love with someone you have never met?” They understandably worry about your safety when you tell them you want to go meet him.
You don't have an answer for them, none of it makes sense to you either.
The thing is, all these doubts and all the confusion still won’t stop you. Sure, you can go out and try to meet someone new. But while you’re sitting across the table from your date, your mind is elsewhere.
He’s all you can think about. You feel guilty because what if this IS REAL? Does this count as cheating?
Here I am, on a date with a perfectly nice man IN REAL LIFE but yet, it doesn’t matter.
The truth is, falling in love online is painful. It feels the same as falling in love in person except you are constantly second guessing it and constantly missing someone who may or may not even exist.
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