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What Promotes A Happy and long Lasting Marriage

When embarking on the journey of marriage, many new couples will request tips from long-time married family members and friends for how to promote a happy and long-lasting marriage. While everyone’s journey is different, there are a few commonalities that exist for marriages that have withstood the test of time.

Commitment

You are beginning a journey that is founded on a commitment to love one another for better or for worse. There is no escape plan. You are committing, in front of witnesses, that you are and want to be partnered with this person for life. Those who have been married for decades will attest that marriage is not always easy, happy, and care-free. You will face challenges, and some will test your willingness to follow through with the vows you spoke to one another. Your commitment is a promise to your spouse that you will love and honor despite what you may face in life. But actively facing these challenges together makes you true partners rather than opponents.

Flexibility

As two individuals, you are bringing very different perspectives to the relationship. Even if you feel you know everything there is to know about your partner, certain differences will pop up for which you will have no sense of preparedness. But remember to be flexible! The differences are what make each of you unique. It is your uniqueness in addition to your similarities that drew you closer to one another before marriage. Do not lose the appreciation you have for these differences and use them to your advantage. Be flexible and patient with one another during periods of change. Be willing to learn about your spouse as you experience life together.

Willingness to Grow

You are not the same person you were ten years ago. You are not the same as you were five years ago. You are not the same as you were yesterday. If you know this about yourself, how can you expect your partner to stay the same? When choosing to partner yourselves together for life, you have chosen to be with one another through the changes life will inevitably promote. Be willing to grow with your spouse, rather than away from him or her. If you grow with your partner, you will likely learn either to love the changes they are going through or help guide them through a challenging time in life. Either way, it is essential to remain your spouse’s partner and also have an individual willingness to grow.

Open Communication

If you are engaging in the journey of marriage, you likely already know you and your partner share some commonalties but also many differences. These may include the ways you communicate. Be sure to continue to foster positive and patient communication. Take responsibility for your feelings and emotions, be assertive about your wants and needs, and be clear about your expectations. Closed communication can wreak havoc on a marriage; do not keep secrets from one another and always have a willingness to change or alter your current pattern of communicating in order to foster growth and togetherness in the marriage.

Trust and Faithfulness

Two simple words: Be faithful. There is nothing more detrimental to a marriage than a loss of trust due to infidelity. Faithfulness is not just remaining physically faithful to your spouse. Fidelity also means remaining faithful in your thoughts and emotions as well. While a physical affair is painful to endure, emotional unfaithfulness can have just as many consequences. Be faithful with your eyes, your heart, and your body. Remember why you chose to be with this person for life.

Intimacy

Intimacy is not just sex or physical touching. Intimacy can include quality time and moments shared just by you and your spouse. Do not underestimate the power of intimacy. If you engage in actively loving one another, you will foster and encourage a healthy closeness and sense of security with one another. It is essential to maintain regular intimacy for any marriage to feel happy and healthy. Being close to one another either physically or emotionally will promote immense joy and growth in your relationship.

Never forget why you have chosen one another. The choice to marry is not one to take lightly; it is a promise, a covenant made with one another to stick around no matter the circumstances. Be an active member of your partnership with the goal of uplifting, encouraging, and truly loving your spouse.