I never quite understood the saying “Sometimes, you have to get knocked down lower than you have ever been to stand back up taller than you ever were.”
Why would hitting rock bottom benefit you, or enable you to be better than before?
I didn’t truly understand this until I was knocked down lower than low. You know that feeling when everything is going perfect but you are constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop…that’s the feeling I had right before I found out my relationship was nothing like it seemed.
At that point in time I quickly realized everything that was wrong in my life. The flaws that I continued to cover up to maintain the happy status.
Right before my relationship failed I had met you. I knew you were a decent guy but I had no idea at that time that you’d have such an impact on my life.
You were put there to help me pick myself back up from the low place I was about to be in.
I should have known by the quick connection I formed with you. The endless conversations that were so easy to have and so easy to maintain.
I should have known you were placed here to help me recover, to help build me back up to the woman I knew I could be.
Quickly after I met you, I found out my marriage was failing. A ten year relationship, and in one day I found out that he was cheating.
I was lost. I felt lost as a person, I felt betrayed by the one person I was supposed to be able to count on. Little did I know you would be the first one that noticed something wasn’t quite right with me when we talked the next day.
I’ve never been the type that needed a shoulder to cry on. I have always worked through my issues on my own.
You wouldn’t allow me to be the strong, independent woman I was used to being. You forced me to knock down my walls and allow you to help me. You pushed and pushed in an effort to help me find strength in my weakness. Once I let you in I lost it all over again.
I never knew I’d find myself needing you. After months went by and you helped build my confidence, I found myself craving you…I found myself missing you.
When something exciting happened, you were the one who I wanted to share those moments with. When I was feeling stressed or confused, you were the one I wanted to run to.
When I needed a shoulder, you were the shoulder I needed. I never meant to feel this way. But you came in at just the right time.
You saved me – when my low was LOW. You picked me up when I wasn’t even sure how to find myself. You helped me, when I couldn’t find the strength to help myself.
You were there when no one was. You didn’t feel sorry for me. You didn’t push blame or make excuses. You were there; you listened, and that means more than words.
When I was lower than low, you came into my life…and I don’t know where I’d be now if you weren’t there for me.
We may not have a future, we may not even have tomorrow, but one thing is for sure I am so very thankful for you. Because now, today I stand tall; today I love myself more than I could love another man.
I built this new version of me, and let me tell you she is pretty awesome.
