When I was little I couldn’t wait to grow up and fall in love with the man I would spend the rest of my life with. I had always expected it to be like the bedtime stories I heard about. The stories always made love seem so simple and easy. As I got older I realized that was far from the truth.
Love is damn hard. It hurts you in ways you never thought you could hurt. It burns you and leaves scars that may never fully heal. It has the power to mold you into a completely different person at times. Love can also be so much more than heartbreak we so easily grow accustomed to. It can be unlimited amounts of belly laughs, cheesy jokes, sleepy morning smiles, endless late-night conversations, most importantly, it can be pure happiness.
After my past relationship failed horribly, I gave up. I did, I shut down any idea of being in a committed relationship. I started living my life as I wanted to. I was going out with my friends and didn’t care what anyone had to say about it. I wasn’t looking for anything or interested in finding anything for that matter. I was stuck in a mindset that I would rather be alone before showing any type of vulnerability again.
I was living for me, putting me first and no making anything else a priority but myself. Then like magic, he came along and changed all of that.
Initially, I was so guarded, as was he. The more time we spent together the more we opened up. I learned about his past, and he learned about mine. Understanding what we have both been through in previous relationships connected us that much more. In a fucked up way, we kind of owe a thank you to those exes for making us that much stronger as a couple.
A few short weeks in we were quickly comfortable with each other. It’s still insane to me how natural it all came about. (like the bedtime stories) I guess when you meet a man who knows exactly what he is looking for and sees all of those qualities in you it just happens that way.
It’s all still new to me even though we’ve been together for awhile now. The way he treats me is unlike anything I have ever had before. Everything from the sweet morning texts, random “just because” flowers, dancing in public and not caring who’s watching, all the way to him running his fingers through my hair and kissing me on the forehead every night before he falls asleep. It’s literally all the simple things he does that most people would overlook. To me, they mean the world. He is quickly becoming my world.
He tells me daily how happy I make him, how beautiful I am, and how lucky he is. His favorite way to see me (for some crazy reason) is when I am fresh out of the shower in the “all natural” state. Mornings are his favorite part of the day. He loves waking up and just laying with me. (Although we hit snooze 12 times and end up late for work, daily.) He likes my horrible morning breath kisses, my rockin’ “I woke up like this” hair and my sassy ass attitude. Even then, he still tells me how beautiful I am.
I know that I can be myself with him and have absolutely nothing to worry about. I love that feeling. I lost my self-worth a long time ago. But he brought it back. He showed me who I am is okay.
Trust is a huge thing for us. Never in a million years would I think I would ever 100% trust a man (other than my dad). But I do, with zero questions asked. I know that with him I am safe. My heart is safe.
I definitely didn’t see him coming. He changed everything for me and has no idea. Thankful for him is an understatement. I don’t know what I did to get so lucky. He is truly “my person”, everything I didn’t know I was looking for.
The time you decide to live your life for you is the time the best part of you arrives.
