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When You Just Can't Move On After Heart Break – Read This:

I get it.

They made you feel more than alive.

You felt like life had a deeper meaning with them. Probably inseparable for a period of time, and every moment with them never felt like enough. You craved to be closer, as if the word "close" wasn't even enough to describe how you wanted to be.

Being with them made you genuinely warm throughout your entire body. They made you smile, laugh, and might have even helped you through the hardest times of your life. You were so thankful for them.

But for whatever reason, they left.

They left you crushed, confused, and maybe even begging for them not to go.

Maybe it was you; maybe you made a mistake and as much as you apologized, they still couldn't get over it. Or maybe it was just what they needed to do for themselves at that point in their lives. Maybe this was the first and only time they had done this to you, or maybe it was part of a terrible cycle of breaking up and getting back together.

Whatever the circumstances were that led them to leaving, nothing can change the fact that they left, broke your heart – and they knew exactly what they were doing. 

They made the active choice to leave you, to abandon everything you had made together. They chose to look past all the good; all the smiles, the memories, and the beauty in it all. They decided that being in a relationship wasn't what they wanted, that you weren't what they wanted anymore.

That's the cold hard truth of it. You weren't what they wanted anymore.

For a while, it wasn't, and maybe still isn't, easy to keep them off your mind. You try to keep busy with long days and late nights to keep them from consuming your thoughts. It hurts, and tears are shed.

That's normal.

It is completely okay to feel broken and to let your emotions sink in. It's okay to take time to truly internalize what happened. That is just part of the healing process. It's healthy to be sad. You should be more concerned if you aren't feeling intense pain from a breakup that you didn't want to happen.

But what isn't healthy is allowing yourself to be dragged down and kicked around by your own mind.

Why belittle and bully yourself? Maybe you made a mistake, but that doesn't make you a bad person. It makes you completely human. Maybe you did absolutely nothing wrong and were completely blindsided. Things happen for a reason, and whether you want to believe that or not is completely in your power.

But trust me – I get it. I know how hard it is, because I've felt exactly like you do now.

When you lose a huge part of your life in the blink of an eye, and you lose your best friend at the same time, it can wear and tear on your self-esteem. But who is really there for you at the end of the day, when all is said and done?

You. Only you.

Every person we meet and every experience we go through helps shape the course of the rest of our lives. But what we seem to forget when we are suffering from the trauma of heart break is that just because someone chose to continue their life without us, doesn't mean we should see ourselves as unworthy of love or undesirable.

There comes a point where you need to say to yourself, "Okay, they left me and it really sucked, but feeling like this, putting myself down and doing nothing about it sucks more." 

Nobody knows yourself better than you do. It is time you start looking and seeing yourself for who you are; strong, beautiful, and fully capable of moving on and letting go. You alone have goals and aspirations, and you have the rest of your life ahead of you.

So, why are you even holding so tightly to the idea of keeping them?

Most of the time after a breakup, we hold on that tight because we either hate rejection, fear abandonment and being alone, or really have lost a part of who we were through the relationship to begin with.

The truth of life is, you don't need someone who doesn't need you. 

What you do need is to pick your head up, know your worth, and maybe acknowledge and work on any improvements you can make in yourself for the future, if needed. Everything is a learning experience if you make it out to be one. The choice is entirely yours. You are the only person in control of your own happiness, not your ex.

People are going to come and go in your life so many more times than just this, so now is the perfect opportunity for you to start to learn how to handle it in the healthiest, strongest and best ways possible.

So, stop sitting on your couch, stalking their social media or looking through old pictures. Stop listening to terribly depressing songs. Stop watching the Notebook over and over (and over, and over…) Just stop torturing yourself!

It's time you start focusing on you, the person who means the most in your life, and doing everything in your power to love and respect them the best you can.