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Why It's Better To Have A Dog Instead Of A Boyfriend

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I want to make a disclaimer right off the bat.  This article is for fun.  There’s no deep seeded man hating going on here.  That being said, I would like to point out, when people say, “All men are dogs” they are entirely incorrect.  If all men were dogs wouldn’t they all be loyal, affectionate and willing to be put on a leash?  Just sayin’.

Everyone wants someone to love and to love them back.  It’s in our nature, but I am willing to publicly suggest that perhaps it’s better to have a dog than a boyfriend.  Here are some reasons why.

  1. While it’s generally frowned upon if your boyfriend sticks his face into other people’s crotches, with dogs, it’s expected and entirely accepted behavior.
  2. A dog will never forget how to find his way home.
  3. A dog will wait patiently by the door for you to come home.
  4. While a boyfriend won’t even put the seat down, a dog is willing to drink from the john wherever the lid may be.
  5. A dog doesn’t make faces when you want to binge on chick flicks and sweet wine from a box.
  6. A dog is happy when your mother comes to visit and doesn’t mind when she rubs his belly.
  7. A dog doesn’t steal the covers, and if he does, he’s cute about it.
  8. A dog doesn’t complain about the meal.  In fact, he’s willing to eat it off the floor.
  9. A dog will literally drool over you.  Try it.  Lay on the floor and let your dog climb on your chest.  Have you ever had a man literally drooling over you?  Didn’t think so.
  10. A dog doesn’t complain about your driving skills.  He’s just happy if you let him sit in the front seat and stick his face out the window.
  11. A dog is literally willing (and able) to kiss the ground you walk on. 
  12. A dog likes shoes as much as you do…that’s not always the case with boyfriends.
  13. A dog is a true barometer of people.  Boyfriends can sometimes have alterior motives.  If my dog doesn’t like you than neither should I.
  14. A dog isn’t jealous is you spend the evening talking to someone else.  He’s happy to lay at your feet.  
  15.   A dog will speak, sit and lay down on command. 
  16.   It’s all right if your dog wants to lay on the couch with his head in your best friend’s lap.  Not so much for a boyfriend.
  17. A dog is never afraid to admit he’s really afraid of thunderstorms.
  18. ….and fireworks.
  19. A dog jumps into everything head first.  He lives for the moment, he doesn’t second guess his actions and he’s not afraid of looking silly.
  20. A dog doesn’t judge you for eating the whole pizza.  

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