I know that sometimes, people walk out of our lives for a reason. I know that things don't alwasy work out the way that we want them to, regardless of how hard we fight.
I know that you didn't mean to break my heart, that you never meant to hurt me or to be unkind. I know that somewhere, deep down inside, I know that it ended for a reason.
And I can accept that. Because there's nothing that I can do to change what happened, what you were to me.
But I can't say that you left me, because you were never really there to begin with.
I wanted to think that you were. That all those things we talked about, all the pieces of myself that I shared with you, that they meant something to you.
And maybe they did. Maybe you did care, but there was just less room in your life for me than I thought. I wish that our hearts were the same, but the truth is, they weren't. And I don't think that they ever will be.
But you were never really there, not in the way that I was.
I kept waiting for you to understand, kept thinking that if I just held on a little longer, you would turn into the man that I thought you were when we first met.
But something about you changed, and you slowly went from being the most important part of my life, to just sitting beside me while the time passed.
And that's what really hurt. Knowing that I had all these plans, all these moments that I wanted you to be a part of. But all you were doing was turning around and walking away.
That's what really hurts the most, knowing that you were never really going to stay. That it never crossed your mind.
But I have to keep telling myself one important thing. That even though you weren't me, even though you never wanted anything real, even though I was just someone to pass the time with, it wasn't me that failed.
It was you.
I would have given you anything and everything. I would have kept fighting to be with you. I would have reminded you every day that we were in this together. And that whatever you were struggling with, I was right there beside you.
I never had to give it a second thought, my love for you. It was just there.
And I tried and I tried, I gave you everything and then some. But you weren't paying attention long enough to understand just how important you were to me.
So now that it's over, I don't blame you. I'm hurt, but I'll get over it.
Because the worst thing we can do is become an option for someone. I learned a long time ago that there is a fine line between loving someone, and knowing that you are only an option to them. That you won't ever be anything else.
And that's what I became to you. Someone who wasn't important enough to hold onto, but someone who was too important to let go of.
No one deserves that.
I don't want to be a sometimes with you. I wanted to be every time. I wanted to be close to everything.
So when people ask me how it ended, I never really know what to say. I know that you cared, but sometimes, caring is not enough. And loving you wasn't enough.
This was no different.
But I hope that you know that even after all of this, I still hope that your heart is full. And I hope that one day, you'll meet someone who will be worth the effort, who will be worth trying. Even though it wasn't me.
So no.
You didn't leave me. You were just never really all in.
