Ladies. Oral birth control is provided to us for a very low, low cost… you’ll never guess how much…. IT’S FREE!
Can’t afford free? They have these things called jobs. Let me spell it out for you. J-O-B-S.
Still don’t get what I’m saying? It’s where you go to get money and you earn every cent by putting in hard work.
Birth control not an option? They make these latex gloves so your boyfriend’s little swimmers won’t reach your egg.
You can buy them at any corner store.
Allergic to latex? They have non-latex! What? It’s like they are giving us every option not to get pregnant. It’s weird.
Condoms too expensive? So are babies…
Condom broke? We go to Plan B. Literally.
Boyfriend doesn’t like how it make sex feel? So is a constant migraine from a toddler asking you the same question every 5 seconds.
You don’t like how condoms feel? Labor pains are worse.
Condoms are 98% effective. If you’re that 2 percent then this isn’t meant for you.
For the men… if she gives you a bullshit excuse of why she doesn’t need to be on birth control. Get the fuck out of there. Quick.
Not sure if he’s the one? You probably shouldn’t have sex with him… Just throwing that out there.
Pregnancy is preventable just start being a responsible member of society.
Did you know that the average cost for hospital fees are $3,500 per stay, according to the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality Healthcare Cost and Utilization Project?
Add in prenatal, delivery-related and post-partum health care, and you’re looking at an $8,802 tab, according to a Thomson Healthcare study for March of Dimes.
And that’s only vaginal delivery.
Unless… you’re unmarried then and qualify for welfare they give you the sweet gift of covering all the expenses.
So basically married people are being punished for having children.
There’s really no point to marriage anymore though, right?
Welfare covers food stamps, housing, college, and they cover daycare expenses? What!??! And lookie there you get a check from baby daddy every month.
Why get married when the state gives you everything?
Here I am with a job working tirelessly for the same amount of money.
Some days I just wish I got a paycheck from every man I slept with. That would be the life… Oh well.
Yet, somehow you’re still broke? Could it be that you’re spending more money on alcohol, drugs, and stupid shit on yourself than on your child?
Ding. Ding. There we go. We have a winner!
Put yourself in a position where you can provide the best life for you child. When you’re ready.
Baby already born? Please grow the fuck up then. Prioritize your life.
Set up a budget. I know it’s a weird new concept.
Stop relying on America’s system to get you by and stop cheating the system.
Get a J-O-B.
Put your child’s best interests first instead of your own.
I will leave you will this solid piece of unsolicited advice:
Stop having babies if you’re not financially ready.
Children are not paychecks. And they are definitely not a write off on taxes so you can get a holiday bonus, either.