Dear Boy,
I am sure at some point in your life, you weren't the way you are today.
To me you were perfect in the beginning. Slowly you showed me what everyone had been warned me about. Over time I was able to make a change and leave you in the past.
Months passed and, more often than not, played the victim when I was the one that was being hurt. You never owned up to your actions or took the blame. The lies that came from your mouth were twisted and made me question myself.
"Am I overreacting?" "I must be crazy." I found myself saying those far more often than I would have liked.
You wanted to be in complete control of every aspect of my life. You began to take over everything. If I wasn't giving you all of my attention, you turned cold and distant. The way that you manipulated my every move and thought turned me into someone that I wasn't.
You would make me compliment you. "Why don't you ever tell me I look good?" and "Why don't you post pictures of us?" were always common questions with you.
You took me away from others. You made me feel worthless. You lashed out at me if something hadn't gone the way you had planned.
You would make me tell you every detail of everything just to make sure it was all to your liking. When it wasn't your temper was something next level.
Our conversations always gravitated towards you. Your car. Your hair. Your clothes. It was 95% about you all the time. I didn't matter. I hated it and hated you for doing that.
Don't get me wrong. Some days were better than others. Sometimes you would make me feel on top of the world. You were spontaneous occasionally. You did make me laugh. You did make me smile and feel wanted. Those days were few and far between though.
The day that I got to courage to put you behind me was the day that I was able to live again. I no longer had to make sure I was "being good."
I could go out and have drinks with my friends. Boys or Girls. I could stay home for a weekend to relax. I could dye my hair any color that I wanted. Wear what I wanted.
It was a burden lifted off my shoulders when I said goodbye to you.
Since then I have noticed change in myself. I have grown because of you. I appreciate things more than I did before. I have a desire to be free. I will never let myself be controlled and manipulated like I was before.
I found my paradise when I got rid of you. After all you had put me through I wound up loving myself more than I did before I had ever met you.
Good riddance.
