In our lifetime, I am sure each one of us have come across a friend who has completely lost themselves in the midst of finding Mr Right and it always ended badly with crushed expectations and a shattered heart featuring our shoulders to cry on. We become their guardian in those moments and often find ourselves lecturing them on what went wrong and why it was never worth crying over because she deserves ten times better! If only we took our own advice.
It is so easy for us to tell our closest friends what they deserve and judge their situations without looking in the mirror when we end up in the exact same situation. We tell them the guy never deserved them or that she should have never let him drag her along for that long, knowing deep down that we are capable of making the exact same mistakes.
We end up giving chances to those who would never lift a finger for us let alone chase us once we are gone. Ego is one hell of a drug and so many people seem to be overdosing.
We are so scared of being without someone that we put up with so much of their behaviour that we end up forgetting what we deserve. We allow ourselves to settle because it becomes all that we know.
We are so quick to pick on the decisions of our friends but we forget that we drag ourselves in the same direction. Why can’t we be as picky about our partners as we are about our friend’s partners? Why do we allow ourselves to settle but never let our friends ever consider settling while we are around?
The only logical explanation is self-doubt.
We become so consumed with the idea that our friends are more important than ourselves. We view them in an entirely different light and never want anything bad to happen to them yet we will risk our own lives just because we do not see our ultimate worth.
Imagine caring for yourself the way you care for your best friend. Imagine never allowing yourself to settle or allowing anyone to take advantage of your heart? Imagine being the person you advise others to be.
Nobody deserves to be half loved not even by themselves because loving yourself any less than others is the basis of how you will be loved in a relationship. Why would you want to have someone who does not fully love you when you can do it to yourself?
We wonder why people treat us a certain way when we give them so much of ourselves, well the answer is simple. We end up giving them more of ourselves than we have ever imagined giving our actual selves. We give them so much that we end up losing ourselves in the end and they gain more than they intended without knowing what to do with it.
You deserve so much more than you imagine. You deserve everything you think others deserve even if you think it is impossible. When you tell somebody that “he does not deserve you”, remember those words the next time you settle for someone who thinks your heart is a playground.
Remember to tell yourself everything that you would tell your best friend because you deserve the happiness you imagine your friend experiencing. You should never settle for anything less than someone being obsessed with you.
Ride the wave you describe whenever your friend is in a crisis, be the person you are when you guide them. Guide yourself. Love yourself. Do not forget about yourself when nurturing the fruits of others.
You are important too.
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