You loved me like Noah Calhoun loved Allie in The Notebook.
Your love was so steady, so strong. I could feel it wherever I was. There was never a day that passed that I didn’t feel it.
We were both so young, so naïve, and there wasn’t much that we could give to each other, but you gave it your all. You’d always find a way to make sure I had everything I wanted. There was nothing we couldn’t do together; no dream was unachievable.
Of course, we fought like all couples do. We got angry and hated each other momentarily, but it never lasted very long. No tear on my face went unwiped, no apology went unsaid. You were, essentially, perfect. You were willing to do anything I wanted, be anything I wanted.
Anytime I felt apprehensive, you pulled me in close and reminded me that it would always be the two of us. You would have my back forever more, even when it wasn’t easy to, and there wasn’t anywhere you wouldn’t follow me.
Frankly, you were everything I ever wanted, and then some. You were thoughtful and kind and you were always more than enough. You were nice to me, good to me.
But, that terrified me. Your love was so gentle and pure, so deep to the core, and mine felt inadequate, superficial. I wanted to love you with every single piece of me, but I just didn’t know how.
I tried so hard to love you the same way you loved me. But there was something in your confident love that made me so unsure about my own. I started to imagine not being able to give you all that you’d given me. I started to question if my own love ran as deeply.
I couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t breathe. So, I pushed you away again. But, the more and more I pushed you away, the more you pulled me back in. You weren’t letting go of me. You’d never let go of me.
You were ready to settle down, to give me everything I thought I wanted, but I couldn't accept it.
I should’ve leaped at the opportunity of spending the rest of my life with the greatest person I’ve ever known, but I knew I couldn’t let you settle.
You were everything but I just wasn't ready.
I knew you’d be the guy I’d remember for the rest of my life, the love I’d compare any future loves to. For me, I knew nothing could ever touch your love, nothing would ever come close.
But I also knew that someday, you’d find the real dream, the girl who could live up to your completely realistic and amazing love. I knew that one day you would find the love you were worthy of, and the girl I wish I could’ve been.
I loved you enough to know I wasn’t the love you deserved.