Marriage always comes with its fair share of obstacles. But, for some, it comes with a few extra hurdles.
If you marry young or you marry someone in the military, you know what I’m talking about.
If you’re young AND married to someone in the military, this is especially for you.
You’ve found the love of your life, and you decide to tie the knot. Your family is excited, but you can tell they have their doubts. After all, you’re barely able to legally drink yet and you’ve chosen a forever partner.
Many will have their criticisms. They will think you’re rushing things. They won’t understand how, at such a young age, you could possibly be ready for such a commitment.
It will come with incredible sacrifices. You’ll have to uproot your life from everything that is comfortable and familiar. You will miss out on big moments because you won’t be able to fly home for every milestone.
You will have to start over, and then start over again whenever he gets orders.
You will make friends from all over the world, and many of them will become like family to you. And, you will cry every time you get orders because you will have to leave the new comfort you have created and the new friends who have taken up residence in your heart.
You’ll worry about your spouse every time he is at work or deployed. You’ll try not to let it show, but it is always in the back of your mind.
You’ll leave pieces of yourself behind in every new location.
Being married to the military is not for everyone. It is extremely challenging. It requires you to reinvent yourself over and over. It requires you to try harder to maintain long distance relationships with friends and family. It requires you getting comfortable somewhere only to move again and be back at square one.
But, I want to tell you something that may not be as obvious when it’s new or when you’re in the thick of an especially stressful time in military life.
This way of life is incredibly special and unique.
The only home that you’ll have now is wherever you are with your spouse. And, while that may sound lonely, it’s incredibly comforting.
Your relationship with your spouse evolves so much because you learn to really lean on each other through every new transition.
You get to make your own traditions and learn how to be a team because you are the constant for one another as your world keeps changing.
You get to befriend incredible people that you may have otherwise never gotten to meet. You get to see parts of the world that you may have otherwise never gotten to visit.
You learn to cherish people and relationships, no matter how many miles come between you, because you know that true friendships survive any span of time and distance.
You cherish the memories that you make with your loved ones even more when you do get to see them because those times are few and far between.
You learn to value people much more than things. You find your peace in your spouse and in your support systems.
And while this in no way diminishes how hard it can get to be a military spouse, I hope it provides you with some comfort.
Never take for granted how important your role as a military spouse is. You support him so he can fight for his country. You make sacrifices so that he can also sacrifice of himself for the people he loves and the nation he loves.
This life is one of constant change and heartache, but it is also constantly evolving you into the most loving, wise, adaptable version of yourself. It makes you into a fighter, and it makes you see how much you are truly capable of doing.
You learn that while you may not be living the typical lifestyle, it’s still an extraordinary one. And, as long as your love is “married?? to the military, you will gladly commit to it as well.