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Your Love for Pumpkin is Anything but Basic, It's Actually a F*cking Problem

Don't worry, I'm not going to call you basic or taunt you from afar. Alright, I'm just kidding. I tried not to but chances are your problem has gotten extremely out of hand. However, keep in mind that the reason why you're reading this is because you know your addiction has surpassed a $5 coffee. It's much more than that now. The first step is admitting you have an issue so here are some signs to help you out:

1. Your pantry can't breathe, there's pumpkin on top of pumpkin. It was one thing to have a weekly PSL or a slice of pie at Thanksgiving. It's far surpassed that. When you open your pantry, you're greeted by pumpkin everything. Oreos, cheerios, even pumpkin flavored peanut butter. Help us all.

2. You find yourself having to justify your love of pumpkin. Your coworkers keep asking you how much you spent on Pumpkin Spice Latte's this month. They want to know because they're worried about you. You took yet another selfie at the pumpkin patch when it's not even October 6th. You have some explaining to do.

3. You find yourself googling pictures of pumpkins when you should be working. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. This is even too weird for me to understand.

4. You actually asked the store manager why there wasn't any pumpkin coffee creamer. And he stared at you, and he may have even laughed. It was still September, but you asked him anyway.

5. You've considered dressing you, your significant other or your dog/cat up as a pumpkin. Why are you pushing your addiction onto others. What did they do to deserve that? At one point I wasn't going to judge you, but now I can't stop.

6. Wine and pumpkin carving go together. But you're still waiting for the day they come out with pumpkin flavored wine.

7. You're probably the reason PSL's went up by fifty cents. We don't blame Starbucks, we blame you.

8. You know that pumpkin is sacred, however, it takes everything in you not to seek it out in the off season. Amazon prime and year-round pumpkin products… how dare you.

9. The centerpieces at your wedding are destined to be pumpkins. Nuff said.

10. You have a pumpkin scented body spray. You're not ashamed, your proud of your amazing fall themed find and hope that your Tinder pals will feel the same.

11. When people refer to you as "basic"… you actually get rather confused because your love of pumpkin is extremely complex and has multiple layers.

12. When somebody tells you about a new pumpkin spice creation… you actually take the time to write it down so you don't forget. And you think about those pumpkin snickerdoodle cookies all damn day. The more pumpkin, the merrier.

I hope you find the help that you need or your love of pumpkin will haunt you every season. One day you could legitimately wake up as a pumpkin. Think about the consequences to your actions.