10 Reasons It’s Okay to Opt out of the Hook up Culture

Millennials have been called the “Selfie” Generation, the “Instant Gratification” Generation, and the “Global” Generation. These I could live with, but there’s one other moniker that I hate: the “Hook-Up” Generation.

Hook ups are everywhere, and everyone (it seems) is doing it: celebrities, politicians, hell, even teachers! And, of course, all of your friends want the deets of your latest conquest – but what if you don’t have any deets? That is, what if you’re not the hook up type?

You long for the days of thought out first dates, and a time when “talking to” wasn’t code for “sleeping with”:

  1. You’re in it for the long haul: You know the difference between a one time thing and a long term investment, and you’re looking to build something solid. This is (usually) not accomplished with hooking up.
  2. You’re too old for peer pressure: Your friends have amazing stories about their epic one nighters…and you’re happy for them, but you know it’s not for you.
  3. You know that the cure for loneliness is friends, not “friends with benefits”: Waking up next to someone who’s name you don’t remember will not make you feel more connected.
  4. Hooking up with someone because you are mad at someone else is not a way to get revenge: Okay, maybe it is, but you’ve got too much class for that.
  5. You know that the best love is self love: Which means not settling for the first thing that comes along.
  6. You want a relationship on your terms: And if that means you wait a bit longer, you’re fine with that.
  7. You’re not afraid of being single: The only person you need to complete you is…you.
  8. You know you’re not “supposed” to do anything: Life doesn’t come with a handbook; there are no rules. You are not “supposed” to sleep with every other person you meet. You are not “supposed” to make them wait till the 10th date. The only thing you are “supposed” to do is be who you are.
  9. You are simply interested in other things besides sex: Doesn’t mean you’re a prude, it’s just that, you know there are plenty of other pleasures in life…
  10. You know that there’s no such thing as “normal”: Normal is whatever makes you feel good. Own it and never apologize for it.

Published by

Mar-li Pitcher

Mar-li can't decide whether or not she's a native New Yorker; she was born in San Francisco and is very proud of that. She has also spent the last 10 years living there, however, she was raised right here in the Big Apple. When not trying to decide which coast to claim (or deny) Mar-li is usually writing; (short stories mostly) or or thinking about her cat (Frosty), or actively working on her plan to fix her life by age 40... Twitter handle: Facebook URL:

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