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11 Essential Things They Didn’t Teach You in Sex-Ed, But Definitely Should Have

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Sex education is taught in middle and high school, but it barely touches the surface of what really needs to be taught.

1. There’s no such thing as “normal” body parts.

Everyone’s body is different. Your body isn’t weird because it doesn’t look like your best friend’s. Or the girl in that porn video you saw.

2. Talk about sex.

Don’t be afraid to talk about it with you friends, your parents, and ESPECIALLY your partner.

3. Talk about sex, does NOT mean have sex.

Please don’t be afraid to talk to your partner about it, but also don’t be afraid to tell them you’re not ready.

4. How to say no.

I mean they tell you all the time, “abstinence is the way” “just say no” but what they don’t teach you is HOW to say no when you’re being pressured into it. The best thing I’ve ever heard on this topic is: “NO” DOES NOT MEAN CONVINCE ME.

And trust me, I know it’s not as easy as it sounds, but you can get up and leave. Call a friend, have a backup plan. If you might be alone with a guy and you’re not ready, have a friend on standby that you have something you text them and they’ll call you and say they need you. Anything. Don’t feel like you have to.

5. Rape is a real thing.

It happens more than you think. Be careful. Don’t go out alone. Don’t take drinks from strangers, OR anyone who you are not close friends with. Be cautious. If something feels off, it probably is. Trust your gut.

Which brings me to…

6. Consent is essential.

“She didn’t say no” oh okay, well then she totally consented to having sex while she was passed out drunk, right?

NO. NO. NO. There I said no for her. If they do not say yes, the answer is no. If they are unable to say yes, the answer is no. If they say yes and then change their mind, the answer is no.

7. What losing your virginity means.

It is NOT all frilly and magical and sunshine and rainbows like the movies. It is not even really romantic. It’s painful, awkward, and you will probably bleed and that’s normal.

8. Anything about babies.

For one, how much babies cost. Because seriously, babies are expensive. And you are not ready for one. “But we use protection” protection breaks, birth control is not 100% effective.

Look at the person you’re about to give the most intimate part of yourself to, and ask yourself, is this someone I would want a kid with? If the answer is no, then don’t do it.

9. Sex is NOT like porn.

There’s no doubt that eventually you will have sex. And most of you already have or will at one point watch porn. Don’t feel bad about yourself because you don’t look like her or your legs don’t move like that.

Porn isn’t real life, it’s very staged. Stop comparing yourself to a porn video.

10. Encourage abstinence, but still teach safe sex.

You can encourage abstinence all day long, but teens will have sex anyway. Condoms, birth control, risks. Teach what happens when you do have sex and how to prevent things.

11. Birth control and all it’s important intricacies.

Talk about the different types of birth control and their uses other than just for pregnancy prevention. Talk about their risks and benefits. Teach young men and women about the effects of each type of birth control and how they differ.

Basically, there are hundreds of things that don’t get taught in Sex Ed. These are just the basics, and it’s saddening to see how much our school system has failed us.

Teens do have sex and they need to be taught how to do it safely, because no matter how many times you tell them “abstinence is the way” they aren’t all going listen, and you have to account for that.


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