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30 Thoughts You Have When Your Roommate Is a Weird Ass Motherf*cker

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Unless you’re independently wealthy, you’ve probably have had a roommate, or two, or seven in your lifetime. There is no way that all of these people were normal human beings. Roommates really have range in terms of their oddness level.

There are the mostly normal roommates with a few cute quirks, there are the eccentric-but-love-them-anyway roommates, but then there are the roommates that are weird AF. Everyone has had one of these, and they are as different from one another as snowflakes are. Here are some thoughts you might have had when faced with this brand of roommate:

1. What the fuck.

2. Seriously, what the actual fuck.

3. What are they even doing in there?

4. Is that wax?

5. Where are they putting it….Nooooo.

6. The poor couch. The poor floor.

7. Who are these people with them?

8. She has locked herself in the bathroom for two hours. I smell sage and I hear incantations.

9. That can’t be good.

10. I just opened the fridge and, no joke, there’s a block of cheese with a bite mark in it.

11. It was my cheese. Of course it was.

12. So she just woke me up to tell me her and her boyfriend were going to take a shower together.

13. Could have used an extra hour of sleep.

14. It’s 1 AM. I’m watching Netflix. They come into the living room in their underpants, holding a t-shirt.

15. They proceed to wash said T-shirt in the kitchen sink. They go back to their room.

16. Are they ever going to shower?

17. …Ever?

18. That’s an upside down cross in their room.

19. They’re into some shit.

20. There’s some powder on the table.

21. Please let it be baby powder. Or baking soda.

22. What is that pickled stuff in the fridge?

23. I think it has eyes.

24. That bowl of whatever has been in the sink for two weeks.

25. It’s growing fur. No way I’m touching it.

26. Whatever music they’re playing sounds like angry cats.

27. They just came out of the bathroom. Why is EVERYTHING WET?

28. There are just drawers and drawers of plastic supermarket bags here.

29. I just changed the toilet paper roll. It’s been five hours. The roll is bare.

30. Just came home, all of their stuff is gone. No warning. Guess I was a bad roommate.


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