The modern world is a strange place for women. We are continuously told that we can have everything we want, be whomever we want, while simultaneously being chastised for wanting it.
This is true for our careers, hobbies, and most especially our sex lives.
In the media, women have become little more than sexual objects whose only purpose is to titillate viewers. Advertising, music, movies, TV shows, and even the news use sex to attract people. As a result, women in real life are expected to be a very specific (and impossible) amount of sexy. Too much means we’re a whore, too little means we’re a prude or a tease.
This is known as the “Virgin-Whore Dichotomy” or the “Maddona-Whore Complex”.
It’s the idea that men don’t respect sexual women, but aren’t sexually attracted to respectable women. Yeah, wrap your head around that steamy pile of hypocrisy for a minute. Women are supposed to be sexual, but not for our own enjoyment because that automatically makes us less dignified. And it makes people very concerned with our sex lives.
And let me tell you, I’m getting really sick of this bullshit. I’ve lost track of how many times in my life that I’ve had people talk down to me for having sex. For wanting to have sex. For wanting to have sex with different people because, hey, I’m single and why not? Guys who were perfectly happy to casually get into my pants, but then turned into judgmental douche canoes at the thought of me sleeping with other people even though we agreed that it was okay for both parties to do so.
I’m sick of the double standard. Men can sleep with whomever they want, as often as they want, and no one bats an eye. But the women they’re sleeping with? Well, they clearly have no self-respect.
Which leaves me really confused. What is it about the male penis that devalues the women that interact with it? Because before having sex we’re respected, but immediately after agreeing to partake in a fun and healthy adult activity, we’re undesirable. Yet the vagina seems to grant more social status to the men that interact with it. Dafuq?
So I’m saying to hell with this impossible tightrope that we’re supposed to walk. If you’re attracted to someone, sleep with them! Sex is fun! It does great things for your mind and body when it’s consensual, and spoiler alert!, it doesn’t have to be done for the sole purpose of procreation. And when it stops working out, be an adult and tell your partner. The more we talk about and normalize sex, the fewer stigmas will surround it.
And to those who insist on holding on to this antiquated, Freudian notion of the “Virgin-Whore Dichotomy”, I hope your solo-game is up to par because no one else is going to want to play with you.