Those who are spared from it are in bliss while those who are in it will wholly agree how hard long-distance relationships can be. Unlike other couples, long distance couples are much away from all the good things that physical proximity brings, like hugs, cuddles and most important of all, sex. Sex not only brings couples together and binds them for long but it also creates positive psychological outcomes for the entire relationship like trust, empathy and a massive reduction in stress.
Healthy sex with a partner can help both persons involved deal better with anxiety, be happy and have better mental health. This is not to say that the modern, hook up and disappear next morning sex, too will reap the same benefits, in fact, that can create issues for both men and women internally as it strips away human connection from the activity, while being disguised as a temporary pleasure. But in a long distance relationship, months and years of sexual deprivation can be much harder on both partners than casual sex, so in such a situation what should a long distance couples do to keep the sexual spark and connection alive?
Have Digital/video sex as needed, preferably as much as possible. This the most effective way for you and your long distance partner to experience each other sexually. Since you both are so far from each other, this is a sure fire way to pull you closer in an intimate manner. How you do it is entirely up to you. You can either plan it out a few days in advance, or just get in the mood while you are having a regular video call to discuss the daily. Whatever it is, be prepared to put in some effort as sex online is hugely different from sex in real life. But you know what doesn’t change in either case? Your imagination. Imagine how you would want to achieve maximum pleasure with your partner in real life and then tell them that. Take their opinions on what they want you to do and similarly give them some instructions as well. A healthy sexual relationship will be possible if both the partners truly want and make the effort to do that.
Whilst Doing video sex and texting, automatic toys in the bedroom are essential! There are lots of different sex toys which have been developed for this exact purpose.
Send tit bits. Since you are committed enough to be in a long distance relationship, you can pump up the fun factor by teasing your partner with sexy/naughty/funny but hot pictures or videos. It doesn’t have to be a full-fledged professional looking perfect image, instead, accept your situation, your limitations and drop those inhibitions. Take a video in the shower, or a picture while getting dressed and share with a simple loving message like “Miss you” or “Wish you could help me with the zipper on this dress”. By adding sweetness, you won’t feel like a sex robot every time you send a nude and it will take the pressure of seduction off, while still putting a smile on your partner’s face and a suggestive thought in their minds.
Experiment with different platforms. Something as simple as a sexy voice note in your turned on voice can do the trick sometimes, while at other times you may want to get creative. For those times adult chat rooms can be a fun thing to try where you can make alias accounts with alter ego personalities and then seduce each other. This will greatly help you in getting rid of all your shyness and you can make a secret pact of never discussing the activities of the chat room sex to keep that mysterious kink alive.
Shed the label. So why is dirty talk considered dirty anyways? For many people, especially women, dirty talk can be a very uncomfortable experience which they feel embarrassed about thanks to all the sexual and moral policing that our society does to a women’s sex life. Yet the truth is there is nothing wrong or dirty about sexual talks. It’s perfectly normal to have the sexual urge and to express it imaginatively is a great attribute that will make your lover feel wanted, desired and sexy. So just do it. Tell them how much your “whatever part of the body” misses their “whatever part of the body” when it did “that”. Communication is the key to maintaining a relationship and if you can initiate sex while slipping your hand under the sheets, you can also do it on the phone.
Write a sex story. For those who really want to open up with their partners about their sexual fantasies, this is a perfect outlet. Write a short, erotic sex story and leave it on a breath holding cliff hanger. Pass it to your partner to continue and keep writing and passing until one of you either writes the end or calls video. Not only it will be highly effective in extracting both people’s individual desires but it will also be a great exercise in trust building and bonding, and a fun memory to hold on to for years to come.
Just like a healthy body needs good food and routine exercises, a healthy relationship needs good sex, positive communication and lots of love to combat stress, mistrust and drifting apart. If the relationship is a long distant one, more of all these ingredients must be added on a regular basis to keep you and your loved one together until you can finally be next to each other.