Outgoing loners are compelling humans because we get called ‘intense’ but never actually overwhelm anyone – in fact, we often energize the people around us. We’ve never been told to shut up for talking too much, but we can talk a lot with certain people, and often with our hands, maybe even too much.
Sometimes we’ll have those “OH MY GOD I NEED TO BE AROUND PEOPLE?? days, and sometimes, we’ll sort of isolate ourselves, definitely needing to be alone to recharge our social batteries after we come home from work.
Certain people and crowds can recharge our batteries too, but we’re definitely not as simple as either being a loner or really outgoing..we fall somewhere in between, but exactly where we fall is a conundrum…
1. It took us years to figure out that we don’t actually love to talk
We just surround ourselves with people who we connect with on a deeper level, so we can talk to them for hours, about everything. But overall we actually kinda hate talking because we feel like most conversations are pretentious and we’d prefer not to be involved.
2. It all depends on the company.
We ebb and flow between over-thinking before we speak, to saying whatever is on our mind – with zero filters or shame.
3. That goes for everything in our life, too.
One moment we’re over-thinking everything – we’ll delete texts, hesitate over writing emails and Facebook messages, delete and re-write tweets. And the next we’re living in the moment, thoughts that spark in our mind come out of our mouth and we really don’t give a damn about how we’re perceived by others.
4. It’s not that we don’t love meeting new people and hearing about their lives, we do.
It’s just that it has to feel authentic, we will never do something just to say we did it; we have to be genuinely interested. We’ll never talk just to hear the sound of our own voice. If we feel like the company is ungenuine, we will get really uncomfortable, and most likely withdraw into ourselves.
5. That’s why social situations can be tricky.
We can be loners but not because we dislike people – it’s actually the opposite. We dislike the barriers like small talk (which often comes with going out) creates between people, and try to avoid it at all costs.
6. Dating is weird.
Like extroverts – we can be extremely charming, laughing and being very talkative, genuinely having fun and connecting on a date. But then, we won’t want to answer their texts for a few days, because like, we just want to be left alone…
7. Because this facet is such a contrast to our big, bold personalities.
It’s really hard to explain to friends. But we really do have a tendency to isolate ourselves to recharge and be left alone with our thoughts.
8. It’s especially hard to keep up with old friends.
It’s not a lack of love or interest – we always have mad love for them. Sometimes we’re just not so good at replying and talking on the phone. It’s not personally – we screen our phone calls, even from our closest friends.
9. Outgoing loners sometimes hate the phone.
Because it’s all, like, intrusive and tears our minds away from whatever we’re deeply focusing on (and we are always deeply focusing on something).
10. Our mind doesn’t change direction easily.
Listening to one thing and seeing something else is a lot of sensory input piled on top of everything that’s already going on in our heads. But when we do see our friends, there is nothing in the world we’d rather be doing.
