It is not fair that you knew that you where stronger than me.
That you could force yourself on me and know that there was going to be nothing that I could do or say to stop you. This rocked my entire world. I am angry that you took my sense of self away from me. And I am angry that I have to work so hard to get that piece of me back, while knowing that it will never ever be the same again. I am angry that this one hour of my life has changed everything in me. And I do not trust people as easily and maybe that is a good thing knowing that there are people like you in this world. People who will hurt someone just because they can.
I am angry that from three years of dealing with this or really not deal thing with this, that I blamed myself for something that you did. Something that you did to me. And something that I could not keep from happening. Something that I had no control over. I am angry that I did not see myself as a survivor but as a victim. And I am angry that this is something that I still have to work on because it has been so embedded in me that I was a victim, or that I could have done something differently to keep this from happening. I am angry that I keep having to tell this story so that I can work through all of the emotions that I never wanted to feel. So that I can work through the emotions that I should have never had to work through. This is something that you did. I did not do anything to deserve what you did.
