It’s true that there are many different types of relationships, and many different dynamics within those relationships. In some relationships, both people have equal power. In other relationships, some actually prefer one person holding most of the power while the other follows their lead. It can be hard to tell, though, when that dynamic crosses a line.
If you’re in a relationship where one person truly holds all of the power, there’s a good chance that that person is also very controlling. You might be able to put up with that for a little while, but if you’re noticing the following signs, it might be time to get out.
1. You feel like you have to run everything by them. In the beginning of your relationship, they doted on you and seemed protective. Now they’ve intensified, and it seems like they’re doing surveillance. They always ask where you’re going, what you’re doing, and with whom.
2. They’re suspicious of almost everything you do. They don’t really take you at face value. If you tell them what you’re up to, they feel the need to ask follow up questions, like they’re trying to poke holes in your story.
3. They get mad if you spend too much time with your friends. They don’t like it when you spend too much time away from them, and when you get back from hanging with your friends they seem anxious and irritable.
4. They insist on checking your phone. They either obtain your permission, or they don’t -but they have an almost compulsive need to check your phone for possible signs of cheating.
5. They’re upset if you do something without telling them you did it. It could have been something as innocuous as taking a walk or going to a movie, but if you did it without letting them know, they’re automatically angry.
6. They criticize almost everything you do. No matter what you do (or don’t do), they’ll probably have something negative to say about it. It seems nothing you do is ever good enough for them.
7. They give you ultimatums on the regular. Do this or else seems to be a thing they like to say.
8. They feel you owe them for something nice they did. They did something over the top and completely sweet, and now they feel you owe them – even though you never asked them to do that thing in the first place.
9. You don’t feel persuaded so much as pressured. You feel obligated to do certain things for them, and it’s never really a pleasure because there’s this undertone of expectation. They don’t appreciate you doing something – they expect you to do it.
10. You don’t know why, but you don’t feel completely at ease around this person. Excited, yes. Entertained, yes. Intrigued, yes. At ease, no.